Little FAT Me: March 2012

2005. Man, that was a year, huh? Things went south pretty quick towards the end there. Personally I was gutted, wounded in a way not many outside my city can understand. There is no home, there never will be. There is a new understanding of the word and a hope to find and rebuild something lost. For a few years that fact had me frozen. I was lost, in myself.

In 2009 I was barely alive, a food addict who was actively killing herself. It sounds so crazy when I say this, it sounds insane, but football saved me in a way. Not football, my team, my guys – out there changing the city, getting things done, coming back stronger than anyone ever imagined, better than before.

Better than before? That was when it hit me… I remember thinking that I would never accomplish anything like what these guys were accomplishing and then I thought – WHAT? In the post season I started to feel the energy. EVERYONE was on the same page, excited and amped. I still get chills thinking back to that time. When WE won the Super Bowl I stood under a sky of fireworks, listening to the entire city honk their horns and I told myself to remember that moment. To remember everything about that night because something changed in me, I felt something I never felt in my adult life. I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I wanted more of it.

It took a few months to figure things out, but I did. I got sober and I changed my life. I lost 119 pounds, found a passion for running and helping others. Started a YouTube channel @ www.youtube.com/littlefatmeblog and I started blogging and reaching out.

Now I push myself to the point of broken and then I pick the pieces up and keep going. I find strength in that feeling of complete exhaustion and I like when it hurts. I am a person I never thought existed and I am proud of me, the way I was proud of the team that year, and so many times after that. The first time I felt that – pride – I realized that that was what I felt during our historic season and our first SB win, which is what I wanted to keep with me. It was a feeling so alien to me, so far out of reach. Now I feel it daily, so thank you. Thank you every day.

Now, I see another opportunity to get back up and keep moving, to be better that before. When people talk about how unfair things are or how the NFL is BS for dealing with things the way they have, I remind myself that this is when we are at our most awesome, because that is what we are amazing at – coming back from behind. Picking up the broken pieces and fighting harder than anyone knew we could.

Once again – thank you from a fan that could not be more grateful.

Sonya