Little FAT Me

I work full time and I barely have time to breathe. In 2005 hurricane Katrina rearranged my life, since then I have gained roughly 80-90 pounds. I believe that it started in depression and became an addiction. I have started and failed many diets and then decided that MAYBE if I combine diet and exercise with blogging and shopping I might be able to find success. This is the story of 2010 and my struggle to rise above addiction, pain, depression and fat.
My photo
30. Mother. Wife. Artist. Psychic (sensitive.) Writer. Singer. Rain dancer. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Child of God.

The road to MY PERSONAL goal BMI/weight!

Monday, December 19

December Challenge: Week 3; # 1

I love Zumba, and I can’t seem to get enough!
I am SO making plans for Wednesday and Friday!

Sunday, December 18

December Challenge: Week 2; # 2 & 3

So Friday I danced and hooped JUST enough to call it number two. Saturday I went to Zumba for the first time in SO long. It was just as beautiful as I always thought it was!

Thursday, December 15

December Challenge: Week 2; # 1

Hula hooped MAY ASS OFF!
Zumba-ed and did weight work! Hell yeah! Wednesday was a good day!

Wednesday, December 14

13 Dec 11

Right shin, two inches below the knee. Slight bump, quite a bit of pain. Erythema nodosum. My anxiety is up, I am sad and it hurts to move. It is a different hurt than the fibro. Fibro just makes it hard, like thick fog and a pull, a hurt that just kind of throbs in the back. Erythema – hurts, like broken bones. This is actually how it all started. A horrible erythema nodosum outbreak that resolved after MORE THAN A YEAR and left me with Fibromyalgia.
I am scared.

Tuesday, December 13

The chair.

I have this whole thing in my head so clear. All my odds and ends on shelves behind me. All my books and things all around me. So many pieces and the PERFECT chair! Thing is – I found the perfect chair and the perfect fabric – separately! I want this to be my FAV chair ever, I am not sure this would be comfy enough!

Monday, December 12


I have a little corner where I usually film anyway, so we are just going to let me custom it up! I’m looking into more shelving and an alternate chair!

Sunday, December 11

I didn't do it.

But I am not GIVING UP. I am done with the goal. I don’t want the treadmill, I have progressed too far for this goal!

The big plan!

I think that this goal will actually change! I have the same as a New Years resolution – I think to keep better track, and therefore make sure it happens – I will break it down month to month – this will become January. Once the year is over I get to check the BIG box!

Saturday, December 10

December Challenge: Week 1; # 3

See, this is where I REALLY wish I could change something about! I LOVE THIS SITE – really, I feel like this site (along with, Weight Watchers, Zumba, running & blogging) changed my life. As I use it more, I find that my goals overlap and I wish there was a way to “double tag” entries to go to two or more goals. Internet gods – get on that.
Anywho, I have been in a funk to say the least. Today I finally got back outdoors. It was SO cold at first, but I warmed up. I hooped and Zumba-ed. Thing is, I love to run – solitary, transcending, amazing, purifying – and I love to Zumba – fun, funny, camaraderie. What I LOVE more that those things is when I get a good work out and have my kids have fun outdoors, moving and laughing.
That is why today was awesome, ‘cause the kids were outside riding bikes and scooters and just having a great time!

Friday, December 9

December Challenge: Week 1; # 2

Wednesday I kicked my own ass at the gym. Ahhh, nothing like self torture!

Wednesday, December 7

Tuesday, December 6

Monday, December 5

December Challenge: Week 1; # 1

I didn’t want to go. I went.
I went to the gym and I elliptical-ed my booty into a good sweat. Thank you so much Zumba play list!

Wednesday, November 30

November Challenge: Week "between months", # 2

I am not well. My nerves are shot and I am stressed out beyond belief. So of course my headaches are flaring and I feel like I all on a roller coaster each time I stand up. Today my left eye is blacking out. This is all why I MADE myself go to Zumba yesterday, when normally I would not have. I knew I had to get workouts in while I could.

Tuesday, November 29

November Challenge: Week "between months", # 1

I hooped for 15 minutes and then did hard core Zumba for ten. Cooled down for 25 minutes and then hooped for 15 minutes and “Zumba” for ten. I say “Zumba” because in reality I was (TMI WARNING) stripping and grinding my wife, still a work out – a fun one! Oh, in the spirit of TMI I guess I will mention that I feel like I am pretty good at the (self invented?) art of strip hooping! That’s right, in my bedroom – which is in no way big enough to hoop – I sexy hooped (grinded and got dirty, club dancing style all while hooping) and then was struck by the thought, “I can so get this shirt off and keep the hoop going!” I did, at first the banana didn’t even realize what was happening. Then the only logical though that could possibly follow, “I could SO get my bra off and keep this hoop going!” AND I DID!!!!

31 minutes; I sh*t you not!

I ran TWO 31 minute 5Ks – you can read about them under the workout challenge BUT now I have to push for longevity. SO that I can run the 10K in NO TIME! Woot, woot!

March 4, 2012

Race facts:
13 miles.
4 hours.

To finish.
To ENJOY it. (With the only goal being to finish I don’t have to push myself to go, go, go – I want to walk and enjoy the environment and people.)
To make a KILLER vlog!

One hour and 26 minutes.

That was last years Crescent City Classic time. I want to beat it by at least 10 minutes. I am thinking about making that by 20 minute, but I strive for reality and I am not sure that is realistic!

Our 5 Minute Move sessions.

It’s hard, you know, to have your kids move and play. The world it WAY harsh and you you can’t just let little girls go off and play. Anything could happen. Also, I am lucky to home school. When your kids are in school, like mine were, there is hardly time for anything and school doesn’t have them actually play. I used to drop my kids to before care at 7:30 in the morning and pick them up at 5:30 in the evening. We got home at 6:00 and had to complete assignments, study, bath, have dinner (which needed to be prepared.) If you get them to be even at 9pm where is the time to “play” for 60 minutes? It isn’t there.
Well, I started doing this really fun thing for myself way back when I worked (WAY back – lol!) I have Fibromyalgia and it cause my body to ache when I move, this is worse if I am not mobile very often. So after 4 hours at my desk walking felt like hell. I started doing a Zumba dance once and hour. It really helped. Now that I home school I set the timer for 55 minutes, when it goes off I set it for 5 and we spend that time alternating stretches, cardio, movement and just plain silliness. To make sure everyone is back to “serious school behavior” afterward the kids are told they will miss our next 5 Minute Move if they don’t behave! They love it so much they snap back, even better they are awake, alert and full of life!
We spend 6-7 hours a day with school, so that ads up to 30-35 minutes. Plus, we have a 20 minute recess after lunch (outside if available) and a 15-20 minute play time after school if it’s not too late.
It’s a really good feeling, and I feel like it’s just the beginning. With my oldest now riding a bike, we will have even more healthy, happy MOVE time!

Monday, November 28

Sunday, November 27

Saturday, November 26

Weight Watchers Weigh In (Wk 79)

So, because I had to work I didn’t get to weigh in. I can’t go every Thursday. I don’t know what I am gonna do. I think at home weigh ins are going to be official now – EVERY Saturday – and I will of course update you dudettes when I do weigh in with at work. Work – he he he – that’s funny.
Oh – would be nice to update. I weighed in today at 136.0 – I like it!

First day.

I worked my first meeting as a receptionist. It was so light, most people didn’t want to come two days after Thanksgiving. All went well, pretty much.

November Challenge: Week 4; # 3

Girl – get the hell out! I am whipped. I love it. Today I scooted over to Zumba – weight lifting. I was late, but who the hell cares? Then I caught a full class after the workout. I was DRENCHED and that means it was a good day.

Sh*t I didn't eat ~ THANKSGIVING!

Sorry so late, but hey - it's here. All of these things LOOK and smelled amazing - it was rough. The brownie balls was the worst! I did it though, and I was like 1.8 lighter the next day! Woot, woot!

Friday, November 25

Wednesday, November 23

November Challenge: Week 4; # 2

Nov 23 – my birthday. I took the kids out to play and managed to get in 30-40 good minutes of hooping, then they did Zumba with me for 20 minutes. Once they lost interest I picked the hoop back up and started to Zumba-hoop. Strange, awkward and hilarious – SO MUCH FUN! Later, because my wife is awesome I got a solo visit to the gym in and I made sweet exercise love to the elliptical!

Monday, November 21

November Challenge: Week 4; # 1

Thank God! I got to a Zumba class and burned a bit of calories. I was SO needing a good dance off. Zumba makes me run better, I take the songs I really love and really have to push through and put them on my running play list. Then when I hit that wall of I CAN’T a good hardcore song comes on and I do!

Did you say before and after?

I'm 5'3" and these pictures take you from 255 pounds to 145 (110 pound loss.) I lost another 9 pounds, but have yet to take new pictures! lol2009.2010.2010.The pictures on top are of me at 255 - the lower level close up with glasses was taken last week at 135 pounds, the upper body shot was taken MONTHS ago at 155 pounds.

November Challenge: Week 3; # 3

Sunday I went back to the park, my legs aching in their sockets. I stretched and thought, “It’s okay if I can’t match my time.” Then I set the stopwatch and got going – 3.2 miles later – 31:54.5 minutes later. Not a fluke, not a rare undo-able thing. I am gonna kill this years CCC 10K!

Sunday, November 20

Saturday, November 19

How to lose 1 pound

"Focus, focus, focus."

How I did it: I mean, I've lost 119 pounds, but I lost focus. I just want to get back to my lowest so that I can remain satisfied with my journey. I want to eat well and that is how I did it! I ate really good, clean and natural foods! I feel better than I have in months and plan to stay on this course!

It took me 14 days.

It made me Happy!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 78) Holiday eating tips video!

Somewhere my weeks got effed – it might very well me 79. Grrr. ANYWHO, I weighed in an officially was at 137.8 – I lost my pound I was gunning for. Actually I lost 1.4. Fun stuff!

Friday, November 18

November Challenge: Week 3; # 2

OMG! I got to go an run – RUN – outdoors, in the evening, in the cold. I got to RUN until I was warm, hot! I got to run until I couldn’t and then I ran even further. I got to RUN and RUN and pray and cry and hurt and RUN. It was beautiful. My lovely wife got home in time for me to get to the park and it was alive with kids and people and so amazingly fun to RUN around. I want a puppy. I want a dog to run with!
I got 3.2 miles done in 30 minutes – which means that it’s possible I can keep working on it and set my Crescent City Classic 10K goal as an hour!

I am jonesing.

Monday. Monday was the last time I got a good REAL work out. Sure I have hooped here and there, but hooping alone isn’t what I crave. Lately I crave the run, even though I am less than stellar. I feel like I am chasing her (THE run) and that I will catch her if I keep going. Like and addict KNOWING they can get higher. lol
I know I am hitting the gym tonight, which kinda sucks because Zumba in the club is happening… Honestly I would rather an afternoon at the park to just go. I kinda fell in love with running outside. My love has been out of town this week so getting a good kid-free workout has not happened! Blah.

Thursday, November 17

November test # 2:

Wii age: 41
Wii weight: 139.7
Wii BMI: 24.8
Wii weight change since last visit: -3.3
Wii goal set: 15 pounds in the next 6 months
Left to meet Wii goal: 11.7

Uh, so me and that stoopid Wii board that talks you through everything are gonna fight it out. Here’s the deal, as part of my test today I had to walk in place, which I admit I kinda suck at. I find that even if I am in-placing-it in my mind I am creeping towards the end of the board. So I tried real hard to stay in place, but then it wouldn’t register my right foot movement unless I STOMPED – like elephant stomp. So at the end it was all WHOA LittleFAT you WAY over walk on your right foot – bomp – you are old… I am so frustrated!

Wednesday, November 16


My word count is so small, really like in the less than 10,000 range – BUT I have been writing some solid poetry and I am glad for that!

Tuesday, November 15

Still here.

I actually unofficially weighed in at 138.6 – if that sticks I would need to lose another .4 for a pound. Here’s putting up the good fight!

Monday, November 14

November Challenge: Week 3; # 1

Went to the gym with the brilliant idea that I might RUN – and had to kill the run due to my knee. So I got a mile done and I jumped on the elliptical to get a good sweat on – aweseome!

Not this week!

I did a crap job at getting to my meeting on time and didn’t get to weigh in – Sunday I did an unofficial and was up 1.6! What the… Today I weighed in at 139.2, so once again the goal for this goal is 138.2! Okay, now that that is clear let’s get it done!!! Holla!

November Challenge: Week 2, # 3

Saturday – Two mile run and two hoop sessions. Awesome!

Sunday, November 13

Saturday, November 12

Wednesday, November 9

November Challenge: Week 2; # 2

Yesterday I hooped for over 45 minutes, but I’m not calling it. What? That’s right little fat me is at a place where I don’t need to scrounge for my workouts! I can be picky!!! Who flippin’ saw that one coming?
Today I started my hooping for 10 minutes several times a day. I hopped for 20 minutes in 10 minute sets an hour apart, I am planning on doing two more. I went to the gym and ran a 8 minute mile and then did 25 minutes on the elliptical. Also, I played. I went to the park and I played with my kids all over the gymset. Briefly I was worried over my size, but then I realized that these things are made for multiple kids to play on and I weight less than four average six year olds! SHUT UP.

Monday, November 7

November Challenge: Week 2; # 1

Well, I bought a weighted hula hoop the other day and I have been swinging that thing on an off through the day. It was fun and I could feel it a bit, THEN I took myself to Zumba and I can FEEL IT!! My abs were on fire from the start due to the hopping ALL DAY!!!

Saturday, 5 Nov 11

I weighed in at 139.2 – so for next week I would like to have the whole pound gone, but will take what I can get!

I love it!

My first receptionist training was last Tuesday and it was AWESOME! I loved being so much a part of it! I was def bitten my the bug and I want to be a leader HARD CORE!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 77)

Official: 139.2 (Which means for four weeks in a row I have been RIGHT on the money.)

I am picking back up with my weigh ins, love it! I just missed the mental reset that stepping on the mother ship of scales gives me.

November Challenge: Week 1; # 2 & 3

Friday I went to the gym and pounded out a mile and a teeny less than half. My knee and shin killed, but I was like, “Bitch please – this is happening!!!!” Then I hopped on the elliptical and shredded another couple hundred calories to make myself feel like a monster! lol
Saturday I took a Zumba weight training class and I love that thing. I am still sore, though remarkably less! Immediately after, like NO COOL DOWN NO BREAK, we went into dancing our asses off! It’s been so awesome to be completely over the fibro flare. Thank GOD!

Thursday, November 3

Forget what they say about Prada.

The devil wears white chocolate. Did you also know that the bitch is made of the finest ice cream, sweet, delicate and so willing to melt in your mouth. Can you tell that my devil is a sexually desirable snack food. God I just hope she is a lesbian, the only think worse that seeing her calorie content would be finding out she's straight and I am going to spend my life in a sick longing. I can't compare it to anything in my life, all my major crushes (famous and "real" life) are either lesbians, bi or easy - so theoretically I'm in.
Anyway, today I started my scientifically sanctioned bitch week today - so, even though I am NOT a choco-whore I was dying. I bought a white chocolate Magnum ice cream bar thing. Excuse me while I orally orgasm once again! O-fuck-yes-yes-yes-thank-you-yes, that thing was the singular most sexy and full filling ice cream sex I have ever had. Maybe it's because I don't get around too much, but whatever -I am in love.

(Caloric-ly this sweet girl will hit you up at 250; WW points 7. You wont count or care as you lose yourself in her amazing body!)

Wednesday, November 2

November Challenge: Week 1; # 1

Zumba. It’s been since Saturday and it kicked my ass. I loved it! I miss going all the time, have to get my shit in order and make it a priority. I almost had a mini stroke thinking I only had three days to get three REAL work outs in, then I remembered that I got that new week start and end – I actually had FIVE days to do 3! I say real because I actually have gotten a lot of extra movement, like taking the kids trick or treating…

Tuesday's Gourmet: 1 November 11

Crescent City Classic 2012 - this years goals:

I am not too sure what my goals are this year. You can read about my first time here:
It’s a MUCH more serious event for me than the Rock n’ Roll half marathon where all I want is to have fun. I guess that I need to hit the gym and pound out a 5K no matter what my knee says. I haven’t run more than a mile in a month due to my knee. Thing is i have to bite the bullet, I miss the run.
So this week I run a 5K, easy but serious, and then I formulate a plan.

The goals:

1 – Finish the course.
2 – Have fun. (This isn’t about pushing so hard I am dead and hurt. It’s about the adventure, the challenge, the band and refreshment and FUN. I want to have an awesome day and a killer vlog at the end of it. I want to take the time to ENJOY it.)
3 – Time: done in 3.5 hours.
4 – Have FUN!

2 Nov 11

My migraines have been hitting IN MY SLEEP, between 3-6 in the morning I wake up in such pain. Full on aura attack.
My dreams have been of sleeping on rocks, having a head injury, enduring ghastly pain – then I wake up and I realize that it’s my head in blinding pain!

November Challenge: A slight change to the way I do things.

Things always evolve and I am about to let that happen with my workout challenges. Up to this point I have fooled with the number of workouts, but I think I need to start my week on Monday and end it on Sunday. There is so much going on early in the week and when I get stuck on Wednesday needing three workouts it means back to back for three days and that is too much for my migraines and fibro to deal with for the most part.

November test # 1:

Wii age: 30
Wii weight: 143
Wii BMI: 25.35
Wii weight change since last visit: -92.2 (it was a long time ago.)
Wii goal set: 15 pounds in the next 6 months

Hula-flippin'-hoop - SUCKA!

I your face – you Sonyas that thought we couldn’t hula, that we had lost our touch. IN YOFACES!!!! Snap and crackle AND CRACKLE.
Okay, I had to own the negative bitches that live in the psychiatric ward of my mind. (I’ll draw it for you one day.)
25 minutes of hula and run goodness. Hula was hard because it works all different due to me not being 255 pounds. It was hard to jog because they want you to go slow, but my Mii only responds when I haul ass. Ah, the downfall of virtual workouts!

WTF is this challenge? (You may ask.)

Well, I will tell you my pretty!
Like a ga-billion years ago when we got our Wii (haha, we got our Wii, ha – oh, alright, my gosh, get over yourself) I took the Wii Fit personal test and I was like 76 – for real. I couldn’t even do the short jog with out dying. I did surprise myself with my ability to hula-hoop, though even that left me gasping and cramping. I left the Wii for my DSI-saturated-fat-and-blubber phase.
Then, a little less than a year and a half ago – when I was tiger blood winning on Weight Watchers – I took it again and for out that I was 65 Wii years old. You can imagine my complete elation, I could have floated if not for the over plumped body I was rocking. I squealed like a piglet at slop time. Don’t pretend you don’t know the noise we all make at a buffet.
Then tonight, as I (TMI) self pleasured so that I could keep my goal of an orgasm a day during my birthday month moving forward I thought, with dramatic flare befitting one such as myself, “WHY NOT SET UP A WII FITNESS CHALLENGE THAT WILL SPAN THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF YOUR 31st YEAR?” Wherein I do the fitness test on the 1st and the 15th (loosely dated) and I work on the training on days I don’t take to the gym or ZUMBA for my life!
Thus, this goal was born!

Tuesday, November 1

Sunday, October 30

The next official weigh in.

This Saturday is my next official weigh in. I was suspending them, but will be picking them back up for this goal.

October Challenge: The final two.

I got a great Zumba burn yesterday with Phil & Dora, the dynamic duo of Zumba! Love! Tomorrow I am taking the kids T or Ting and that is going to be # 14 for the month. Whew – I thought it might not happen!

October Challenge: Week 4; # 2 & 3

2 – 25 Oct 11 – The Children’s Museum – we walked around for over two hours and then we walked to Subway for lunch. I don’t usually use my daily activity for a workout, but due to this week’s circumstances it had to happen.
3 – 27 Oct 11 – Gym: quick, painful, hot and sick. Had to get a workout in because I HAD to have three a week. I just can’t imagine not.

Monday, October 24

October Challenge: Week 4; # 1

Yesterday I hit the gym and whooped my own! That’s right. This month has sucked as far as catching Zumba classes. I can not wait to get back to hard core Zumba. AND with weight training Novemeber – mt birthday month – SHOULD BE AWESOME!!!!

October Challenge: Week 3; # 3

This happened Friday – last.
I elliptical-ed poorly. I mean, I burned a lot of calories, but it was hard and I was TIRED. Ugh.


It’s scary, sad and part of my life. I have never looked like this, and I never will. I am a food addict. I willingly and seriously killed myself slowly with food. I ate and ate and ate, never able to appease the devil inside of my mind. It was a cycle, gorge without paying any attention to the things I shoved down my throat only high while the food was swallowed and then HATING myself for doing it (again.) I took my life back, I own my body, I am still sick inside myself. There is a new and equally sinister voice, it sounds like my own and it sounds like a friend. I am aware that this can kill me, just as binge eating can. I am aware that this can hurt my family. I actively work with these realities everyday. It feels like a balancing act, sometimes it is so hard and I am so tired I think, “EAT FUCKING EVERYTHING.” Then another self hisses, “EAT NOTHING. ONLY A PIG, A FOUL CREATURE NEEDS FOOD.”
I close my eyes and I think of everything I have learned and everything I know of myself, I think of the struggle and of God. I move forward.

Alternate challenges: seeking solace, drive, insanity, no time, expectations, abandoned, dying, illusion, keeping a secret, fairy tale, horror, traps, mirror, drowning, solitude, spiral

Sunday, October 23

Weekly Meeting (Wk 75)

So, I decided that I go to meetings but only weigh in every third week. This may – or may not – be shortened to every other week or put back to weekly. I am just trying to find my grove and I think that I need to find more of a normalcy to my relationship with food and the scale. Today I did weigh in at home, I weighed in at 139.2 – which was last weeks official WW weight. I went to my meeting and then I went to my aunts annual Halloween party. I was at her house for 10 hours, over which time I ate a few pieces of candy, two cupcakes, three hot dogs (two for lunch and one for dinner) and I had coffee. I did not actually track all of these things in my calorie counter. I tracked breakfast, I tracked lunch and dinner. I let myself indulge (my brain counted calories – lol) without counting them and said, “Look, two rules are don’t overkill just because you can and when you leave this party you go back to your strict routine.” It’s the first time I am trying this new mindset, I’ll keep you posted!

Friday, October 21


Other possible challenges: breathe again, silence, questioning, expectations, keeping a secret, do not disturb, puzzle

Wow, oh wow!

So, as it always happens, art leads to art! How lovely.
Yeah, I started with Broken Pieces and then I did Words (picture to come) and while digging through my art(junk) cabinet I found some old drawings that are being re-worked into new art and I am counting it as this challenge as they fit here! Yay!
Art that will be coming soon: Heaven, Words, All That I Have

Broken Pieces

(It’s an awful picture because something is very wrong with my iPhone.)

I got the idea of the sketch when looking over the list. See, I keep coming to the list and getting an idea and then realizing it can count as several of the challenges. I then freeze and do nothing. Instead I decided, today, that I will give it to the challenge that first made me think of it and then list the others it cross references with!

love, break away, breathe again, no time, trouble lurking, tears, sorrow, happiness, expectations, abandoned, standing still, two roads, illusion, sacrifice, rejection, i can’t, pain, give up, all that i have, solitude

Where am I?

I feel like I lost myself years ago. I gave myself away to love and to the world. I wanted things more that I wanted to be me.
I guess everyone goes through that, but in the end you have to find yourself again.
Over the last year I have lost nearly half of my body weight, I have gotten married, I have waken up. Now, I need to find the part of me that defines ME. I am a mother and a wife – those things define my role. Inside I am an artist and I need to give that life again.

Thursday, October 20

October Challenge: Week 3; # 2

Took another Zumba class yesterday and really got to get into it for the first time in FOREVER! I am looking forward to taking this new energy to the gym! Yay! I hope to get a good elliptical in and maybe a mile!

Tuesday, October 18

Seems so little.

After all of the other work. It’s a small step in a new direction. One I am still trying to decide on… Bear with me.

This was my original goal...

then I switched it to “Lifetime” so that I could do it in order. Today, 119 pounds later, I have just gotten a meeting as receptionist. I hope to move to leader soon! Yay!

Monday, October 17

October Challenge: Week 3; # 1

Zumba, killed me – but it was a good kill. Love!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 74)

74 weeks on Weight Watchers. I believe my weight was 139.6??? Wait – I can’t find my paper. Boo. Must be in my car. Grrr. Anywho – as I see it that is “up” from my last weigh in, but still a maintain. Yay!

17 October 11

So this weekend I did not workout. I have to catch three workouts this week – I will. Monday, Zumba. Tuesday, elliptical. Wednesday, Zumba. Maybe a bike ride in there… Bigger issue is I need to feel better, get more rest. I crashed again today, lied down with a racing heart and feeling all sick-ish. Slept for two hours of the Saints game – YOU KNOW I WAS SICK!!!

Thursday, October 13

13 October 11

My hands hurt. My head kills. Blah and grrrr. I want to sleep for weeks. I want a tub of ice cream that has no calories and a long hot bath with water that never cools. I want to cry and I want to get over this.

Wednesday, October 12

12 October 11

That was a sigh, a deep breath being slowly let out.
I am tired (heard that before.) I am hurting (said that before.) I feel overwhlemed (felt that before.)
Honestly I believe this to be the worst flare up I have had in about a year and a half. I need to get through it.

October Challenge: Week 2; # 3

OMG! Thank God. I forgot that today was my third workout and as I struggled through I was like NO WAY I can do this again this week!
This is it though, the next few days I am just recouping – or at least trying to! Elliptical for 30 minutes and a half mile run. I die.

Tuesday, October 11

Tuesday's Gourmet: 11 October 11

11 October 11

Ahhh. Today I went on a baby bike ride (two and a half miles) and I probably should have been happy. I was, it was lovely, but I wanted more of a burn. T hit the gym and my head has been on the fritz since. Each time I move pain and fuzzy. Grrr. I am hoping to sleep it off. Cross the fingers!

October Challenge: Week 2; # 2

Today I took my bike, had Lou on hers and we walked VERY slow so that Mavis could walk and we went to Paw Paw’s house to pick up Mavis’ scooter. Paw Paw decided to put Mavis in his bike seat and we all took a two and a half mile bike ride. Then, after cooking up some sweet potato fries and throwing together a salad for the banana I went to the gym for the first time in – like – FOREVER. It was hard, and awesome.

Monday, October 10

10 October 11

So, as of late I have not been “well” nor have I been “sick” – however as it seems this flare is here to become a real and true flare up I am going to track through it.
First off I would say I noticed it about three weeks ago, start creeping into the edges of each day. Discomfort, a teeny lick of pain, then just a vauge feeling of not great.
Yesterday I was exausted beyond, we biked litterally 8 houses and I felt as if I might pass out. Boo.
Today I have a headache, I am swollen and I am tired, so tired. I feel, kinda, like crying. That sucks. This sucks. Deep breath, keep pushing. I am sure I have been here before, and obviously I got through it. It’s just rough at this point to remember that time or imagine the next.

Saturday, October 8

October Challenge: Week 2; # 1

Seriously, it should count as one and two, but as it wasn’t broken up it’s only one. TWO hours and TWENTY minutes of straight ZUMBA!!! I am sore and I am so tired I can’t think, but I am happy!

Friday, October 7

Wednesday, October 5

The best ever!

October Challenge: Week 1; # 3

So it’s not the super hard core 600 calories an hour elliptical, and it wasn’t the hip hop infused 400 calories and hour Zumba class. It was, however, the most beautiful workout I have had in – possibly forever. Today I went for a 200, actually a less than 200 calorie a 197 calorie, bike ride. I went out to the water, in the pink setting sunshine, with an October breeze and my most amazing bike! I went with my Daddy which was nostalgic and sweet. I marveled over my new body, this body that about a year ago tried to go ride bikes with my dad and couldn’t make myself go for more that 15 minutes. This body that I have worked and trained and wanted my whole life, that can take a four mile bike ride and not even think. It was literally like walking out to then end of my drive for the mail!
None of that is what was the most amazing part. What made this the workout I will remember my whole life is that my daughter. My heart and soul learned how to ride her bike – without training wheels last Saturday and today, her second day riding, she was with me.
Mastering the mount and pedal, mastering up and down the sidewalk, mastering in and out of the grass, and KILLING the fall down and get back up!
More than all of those beautiful things, my baby, who is a Pokemon game freak and a computer whiz, was out there – four miles – next to me. Pink cheeked, deep breathing, working – striving – laughing and loving it. As we pulled up to the house she looked at me, proud and excited and said, “We should do this more often, like everyday!”
We will, maybe not everyday, but we will often! Thank you, God!

It's a Wednesday love affair.

(Me, blogging - just like I said I was gonna!)

The things I love today - and while today might not seem important it is. I am a wildly erratic Sagittarius (extreme Scorpio cusp) whose love and hate waxes and wans like the schizophrenic moon on meth. Eeep. So let's get to it!
Tea - I am on a sick, truly it's sick, sick tea kick! In fact let me show you something:Uh, that's my tea cabinet. She's a sexy bitch right? It's like, sometimes I really want to eat something (anything) (oh, hells bells, EVERYTHING) and I go, fine, fine you can have it after 16 ounces of water and a cup of hot tea. I tell you this EVERY TIME I wind up not snacking. Every time.
Here are my favs - and my new inatamate BFF:Yep, that little eletric kettle is the bomb and I love her. So much.
My fav tea is Cinnamon Stick (CS) right now, buut it's a black tea and I am already a nervous freak, so... I have to balance it. In the morning I drink one CS and then the next two are tension tamer, then back to my baby in red CS! In the evenings I cut off the CS at five and drink the Sleepytime Vanilla (SV) - Um, you don't have to remember the nick names, I wont!
Now, on to another sweet, sweet spot at this point - SWEAT SHIRTS and sweaters of pretty much any kind because if I thought I was cold at the peak of this hot as hell's ball sweat summer, you should see me shiver my timbers through the (only slightly) falling temperatures of this beautiful October! So I realized recently that I was still cold in my XXL sweat shirts but that a tight fitting thinner sweater was warm. When I voiced this observation to my banana she said that the tighter something fits the less cold can creep in with you. SO, as this is my first winter being smaller, I need a new go to sweat shirt and I found that lucky little filly.How beautiful is she? I WANT!!!!

Tuesday, October 4

Tuesday's Gourmet: 4 October 11

What can I say - today was a snack-y day. I did stay in my calories and I did eat a lot of good things! I also drank all my water PLUS. I was at roughly 180 ounces - woot!

Kindle hiatus?

This goal is on hold for a VERY happy reason. My Banana has taken over my Kindle. She isn’t a reader, so when she took an interest I spent 7.99 of my last 20 dollars to download An Interview With a Vampire so that she could read easily in the field. So I am off to add a new goal to my little list – check it!

I'm really gonna try... here's my (hopeful) plan.

I want to establish some new blog goals. Honestly, lately I have been a slacker. My weight has reached a point where caloric-ly speaking I am going to stay, I think. What I mean is that if I eat 1200 calories a day I drop weight, but the second I go to 1600-1800 which is well within (maybe even a bit lower) maintenance for me I go back up 3-5 pounds to 137-140. I have decided that may well be my bodies "natural" weight. I say "natural" because in actuality I have excess skin which I have read can weigh between 4-7 pounds, in some cases 15 - though I don't think that's me. Also, I was really upset with the wild fluctuation, at first. Then I realized that something strange was going on. Ready? When I was at 145-140 during my original weight loss I was a TIGHT size 8 in my jeans and a size 10 in my dresses. Now as I fluctuate between 135-140ish I not only am in a comfy size 7/8 in my jeans (I even have a size 6 and have tried on several size 6 pants I just didn't buy because I am not working now) BUT I just bought (because I needed) a beautiful, fitted Calvin Klein dress in a size 8, and while I was picking it out I realized that I am now a dress size 8 across the board. So, though my weight goes up my body is still getting smaller. People, lately, get all bent about my "losing too much" and "looking too thin" they think I have lost ten or so pounds over the summer and honestly i have been playing around at the same weight for months. Here's what I think - 1) I am building my core - my muscles and when they are torn and swollen the number goes up a bit. 2) My arthritis - swelling and fluid retention - the number on the scale reflects this more obviously due to the fact that I am smaller. 3) Some fluctuation is just plain NORMAL!!!
Here's the hope:
Less videos, more BLOGS!!!
Tasty Tuesdays (starting today.)
Friday 5
Football Food! (Sundays)
Weekly Meetings (Saturday or Sunday)
Workout Updates (as always)
More health updates.
More random musing and food bitch-ness.
More visits from all those who live in my head! (Yay.)

Anyway, there is the plan and I think I can do it!

Monday, October 3

Week 72 - No weigh in.

Guys and gals, I went to Zumba in the CLUB and it was awesome this last Friday. The down side – I am not that girl, I need sleep and I was way to wasted (after being up all night and two Bloody Mary’s) to go to my meeting. I did get to my Zumba class – see that entry below!

October Challenge: Week 1; #'s 1 & 2

OMG! So Saturday our Zumba instructor intro’ed a new Pump Up The Volume class, where we basically lifted light weights and did squats and lunges! Then a half hour of Zumba. Ow.
Tonight I went to a normal Zumba and it dang near kicked my ass because I am still sore! LOVE IT!!!

Saturday, October 1

September Challenge; Week 5; # 3

Zumba last Wednesday – can you believe that I have not updated since then! Oh, well. Onward!

Tuesday, September 27

Weekly Meeting (Wk 71)

Down 1.8 – 138.2! Yay!

September Challenge; Week 5; # 2

Zumba. Monday.
Let me TELL YOU. Saturday was a rough workout in the best way. So good in fact that I didn’t go to the gym on Sunday and when I went back to Zumba my butt and legs were killing me. I love it!

Sunday, September 25

September Challenge; Week 5; # 1

Ack!!! I suck! I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me, I keep forgetting to update this! Saturday I went to Zumba and this lovely couple who teach at my fav instructor’s studio came to fill in! It was an AWESOME workout!

Thursday, September 22

September Challenge; Week 4; # 4

Wednesday! Zumba with my fav! Things are banana’s around here! This keeps almost slipping by, this whole keeping track. Gosh! I suck! :P
It’s all good, tomorrow I am hitting the gym and burning it up! Hells to the yeah!

Tuesday, September 20

September Challenge; Week 4; # 3

Monday – Zumba! I bought my unlimited pass for the rest of the year. I hated spending the money, but if I was still eating crap I would spend SO much more… Today we had a great class, it was amazing! So happy!

Monday, September 19

September Challenge; Week 4; # 2

Sunday – girl I took myself to the gym and – though I weighed in up 3.8 pounds – I have been feeling skinny. It’s easier to work out when you feel skinny! So I whipped it good! 45 minutes on the elliptical and a half mile run. SPLAT! Contest!

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