Little FAT Me

I work full time and I barely have time to breathe. In 2005 hurricane Katrina rearranged my life, since then I have gained roughly 80-90 pounds. I believe that it started in depression and became an addiction. I have started and failed many diets and then decided that MAYBE if I combine diet and exercise with blogging and shopping I might be able to find success. This is the story of 2010 and my struggle to rise above addiction, pain, depression and fat.
My photo
30. Mother. Wife. Artist. Psychic (sensitive.) Writer. Singer. Rain dancer. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Child of God.

The road to MY PERSONAL goal BMI/weight!

Tuesday, November 30

THE shoes.

Like some girls dream of that perfect white dress, the one they will build the entire wedding around, I dream of the shoes. Christian Louboutin is actually a bit high for my budget, but I am really in love with these. They are everything this little girl can dream about!

THE shoes.

Like some girls dream of that perfect white dress, the one they will build the entire wedding around, I dream of the shoes. Christian Louboutin is actually a bit high for my budget, but I am really in love with these. They are everything this little girl can dream about!

Blow Pop!

11:00 – Unwrap one grape blow pop.
11:01 – Start the timer.
11:03 – I can see the tiny tab of gum on the side and that makes it easier to not bite the dang thing!
11:19 – 17:33.2 minutes later you can consider this DONE! Oh, stop timer!

Saturday, April 2, 2011, 8:30 AM

That is the date and time of the first event I want to put myself in and I plan on running! There are others that I might check out but that is the one I am holding myself to! That means I have four months to get myself into it. I see this as a run on the treadmill and build myself up for two months and then take it to an outdoor venue and get myself ready for the outdoor aspect of it!

Today is an 8.

I picked out a new year resolution today. I feel happy with it, and I might make a few more! :)

Monday, November 29

November Challenge: The lost week between November and December, # 2

40 minutes; over 2.5 miles walked/jogged/RAN; over 220 calories burned. Today I RAN a mile strait! Then I took five to power walk and then I RAN another half mile. I am in love with how it feels. It is getting better, my heart rate is more normal and I breathe okay and I just push!

Today is an 8.

I wish I was at home. At this point just praying that we get where we need to be to get married and home school next year! Fingers crossed!

This might be next week!

I have been going for a week as part of a free trial. I really like the gym I am going to and they have a low monthly month to month rate. I have been jogging and loving going. I think that I am going to join and make my goal, starting January, to workout four days and make sure the gym is two on them!

Sunday, November 28

Today is a 9.

I am sad because this long, beautiful family weekend is over. :(

Tootsie Roll monkey!

Thank God I have gotten to a point where I am cool with candy being around. MoMo made a Tootsie Roll monkey with a base of pretzels. She is having fun and I am loving the creations!

Saturday, November 27

November Challenge: The lost week between November and December, # 1

45 minutes, 2.63 miles walked/jogged, 240 calories burned

Yesterday was an 8, today a 9.

This weekend has been long and beautiful, for various reasons it has shifted and turned BUT it is only a 9 because it is coming to an end! Loved working out and LOVED being with family!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 28)

What? Down 57.5 over all! Loss 1.6 on Thanksgiving week!

Friday, November 26

Tangled in 3D!

I am counting it as 2 points and I am proud of me!

November Challenge: Week 4, # 4

Gym! Jogged! 15 of 37 minutes! I am in love with life! Yeah!

Thursday, November 25

Today was a 10.

Turkey, fruit, veggies, family, laughter, football, kittens, pets, home, job ~ God gave, and gave plenty. Thank You, God, for my many blessings. Those that have been received and those yet to come. For my life, and all the good in it! For hearing my prayers and loving me and protecting me. For my family and our love.

Wednesday, November 24

November Challenge: Week 4, # 3

Went to the gym and kicked ass! Jogged for 32 minutes and walked REALLY EFFINFAST for 18!

Today is a 9.

I jogged yesterday. No really! Anywho, the kids come home from my mom’s house and I stop by the gym to JOG again! Then FOUR day weekend with turkey and football tomorrow. Say a tiny prayer for the Saints! Yay!

Tuesday, November 23

November Challenge: Week 4, # 2

I JOGGED!!!!! 30 minute workout, 20 minutes jogging and 12ish walking FAST! OMG! I am so happy!


I am always saying that one of the major differences between this time I am losing weight and every other time is that this time I am not shy about it. I am quick to say I started at 255 and that I have lost 55.9 pounds. I am fast to say that I am weight watching and that I can eat what I want but I choose to eat well. The overwhelming support that has garnered me is amazing and today, my birthday, was a big example. Birthdays in the office are all about the cake, when I got to work today I had a lovely gift and a wonderful surprise:

Happy birthday to me!

30 and I don't feel old. That is good, I guess. I feel happy and nervous (because I drank coffee!) I feel like it is the year I lose all my weight and I unlock myself and all my true potential.

Today is a 9.

Would be a 10, but the kids are with mom. It’s my birthday – 30! (And under 200 pounds!) Yesterday I slept all day, litterally! Like I woke, got dressed, slept in the car. Got to work and slept at my desk, slept in the car ride home and went strait to bed. I slept through Monday night football and dinner! I guess I needed it because today I feel great and I am happy! Yay!

Monday, November 22

Today is a 5.

I do not feel well.

Sunday, November 21

Today is a 5.

Hmmm. Still gone, still missed.

November Challenge: Week 4, # 1

37 minutes on Pia, my real bike. No idea how much distance I covered or how many calories burned, but it was fun and I feet good!

Saturday, November 20

Today is a 9.

I miss the littles, but I have had fun with my ♥ and we have been having a blast being grown ups! From distillery tours to festivals in the city and now onto grill outside… Happy.

UNDER 200!!!!

I weigh 199.2! I am under and I will try my best to never be there again! Now, I know that the next few weeks with holidays and such will be hard. My goal is to lose at least five pounds from now to January 1st. Then to lose seven before February. Of course that is just what I am thinking now and I may very well be adjusting that!
On a fun, crazy note – my BMI was 41.1 when I started this and it is now 34.2! 24-29.9 is overweight, which means that is 4.3 BMI points I will no longer be obese! INSANE!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 27)

Well, I was really upset about loosing only a LITTLE bit on a week when I kicked my own ass! Then, about five minutes ago I started my period! Yay! If things go “okay” this week then I will most probably lose!

Friday, November 19

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 6 (A day at work, ru... B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 7 (A day at work, running commentary.)

8:41 - I got to work on time and made boss happy by making coffee. As today is my "lighter" day and I really wanted to drink my breakfast I shook up a SlimFast. Vanilla is really good!
9:30 - Ate two waffles! SO GOOD!
12:00 - Hanging at the fancy building so that we chica can pick out KK pals. I can not wait I love KK! Eating sushi for lunch and a Smoothie King for dinner.
4:45 - Signing off!

Today is a 7.

I sent the babes off to school knowing that they go to my mother’s this weekend. Sad. I am at work alone. Sad. I can’t wait to weigh in. Happy. I have done well this week and get to take the day off from work outs. Happy. Thank God, for everything. Thank God.

Thursday, November 18

November Challenge: Week 3, # 6

No idea how much of what besides doing 30 minutes; I turned off the bike and just worked out while hanging with MoMo. Still, 30 done! DAYS THIS WEEK!

Today is an 8.

Love my babies and they are going to be with my mother for the next five days, starting tomorrow. :( I know I should be glad for the grown up time, but as it draws near all I feel is sad.

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 6 (A day at work, running commentary.) (More like a b*tch session.)

11:38 - Uh, someone tell me why I had a great morning. I got the kids off and picked up a Subway breakfast and STILL got to work 16 minutes before normal. I walked in here happy to be here and TODAY my boss decided to be a jack hole! Why is it 11:39 and I am JUST getting this started? Grrr! Stomp. Okay, I am out of steam. I just can't seem to keep a petty rant going these days. I must just be a being of love and light, or maybe I am simply growing up. Wouldn't that be a hoot!
What? Oh, yeah, to the food! Subway breakfast, water (not as much as I should have had) and a mid-morning snack of wheat waffles sans syrup! Yum! I am a crack head when it comes to spray butter and I swear any food I can give a good spray down without looking way too strange is high on my list!
12:09 - Lunch, and water! Must drink more water! Oh, and while we are talking about it I am going to pause... and I ook my vitamins!
12:52 - I am not hungry, on the contrary, I am very satified - and yet, all I can think is, "What of dinner?" I have turkey that I HAVE to cook, but maybe I will freeze it and go the way of breakfast for dinner! Yay!
1:40 - Eating pretzels instead of drinking water because I am out and can not leave my desk until this job it done. This sucks, I am still thirsty!
2:49 - Hi, Nari!
2:50 - Filled my water and ran to the bathroom. I hate days when I feel like a slave at my desk. I like the ones where I get to wonder a bit a whole lot more. I just ate my Fiber One yogurt! So yum. After I get to roll out early today so this might very well be my last post of the day!

Wednesday, November 17

November Challenge: Week 3, # 5

30 minutes; 229 calories burned; 6.175 miles biked.

It's a numbers game.

In my head, at any given time, I have a number of different challenges and goals for my weight loss. Numbers that I am always crunching to make myself feel good. So let’s take a quick look at where I am at.
Starting weight – 255
Current weight – 200
First goal – 10% of starting weight – 25 pounds – need to lose: DONE
Second goal – 10% of new weight (230) – 23 pounds – need to lose: DONE
Third goal – 10% of new weight (207) – 20 pounds – need to lose: 12.9
Fourth goal – 10% of new weight (187) – 18 pounds – need to lose: 30.9
100 pound goal – projected new weight (169) – 14 pounds – 44.9

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 5 (A day at work, running commentary.)

8:53 - Just got my water! Yeah! I have these little sugarless coffee cakes, but they are four points so I might just wait on them.
9:15 - I am kind of dying for something to eat and at this point it's like a million years before 9:30 break. In fact the only thing keeping me sane is the fact that my boss' wife is sitting here and I KNOW I can't go toast my waffles infront of her.
9:30 - ♥ is making my waffles and I am taking my vit-y-mens!
9:57 - Oh, the beautiful feeling that my tummy has at this point. Bliss!
11:02 - Yogurt, because honestly all I can think of is the vegan burger I am going to have for lunch. I don't really suffer from the food boredom that so many talk about - when I like something I will eat it again and again! And again!
12:12 - I just sat down and have yet to take a bite. These little Morning Star Vegan burgers are so good that I am actually making myself work for it! (To say I am making myself drink at least half my water and go SLOW and enjoy it!) 20 minute lunch goal starts now!
12:26 - I have but a few bites left and already I am sad. This is such a good meal! As I write this I chew the last bit, I feel okay with the fact that my burger didn't take 20 to eat because I know I took my time, drank water and enjoyed the moment!
1:06 - A co-worker just said that my face looks "completely different and much better." I am trying to absorb the compliment and leave the bitch slap. A-hole!
1:25 - Confession: I just ate a pack of Pringle's Pretzel Stix just because. True story.
2:02 - Falling asleep.
3:15 - Took a snooze at afternoon break. Had a yogurt when I work up and now I am snacking on pretzels. WHAT? I needed salt!

Tuesday, November 16

November Challenge: Week 3, # 4

I am sweaty and I am tired. In case ANYONE missed that. My phone flippin’ froze THREE times during this workout. I kept going and was frustrated – BUT it was nice to get it done in the face of adversity! It is playing lovely now, yeah, um, thanks!
30 minutes; 225 calories burned; 6.592 miles biked. Whew!

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 4 (A day at work, running commentary!)

10:15 - I had not set this up and I regret that. Took some time to sign into Twitter on my iPhone and now I have a feed running at the top of my blog - yay! Just finished breakfast, sushi! Yum! Just to my vitamins and am working on my first bottle of water. I screwed up last night by not going to sleep! Boo!
10:45 - I am having a real hard time remembering if I took my vitamins, or if I forgot them! Yikes! Guess I will just go ahead and take them, one double dose can hurt. Right?
12:09 - Lunch started ten minutes ago and I warmed a vegan burger. (The patty, not the bun.) I still have a wee bit to my first bottle of water, so I am on like my third cup. I have to do better than this!
12:13 - Making lunch last is harder today, I think it is because I am tired! MUST go to sleep on time tonight!
12:28 - Finished my water and refilled! (That is usually where I fail - the whole refill.) I managed to make my lunch last roughly 15 minutes, so I am happy. Now, I just need to keep myself from snacking, which as I fall asleep I feel I need to do! I am soooo tired!
1:50 - Got pretzels. Am. So. Tired.
2:55 - I just woke up from a nap, shhh! Going to grab a yogurt and try to shake the sleepy!
3:52 - OMG! I am SOOOO hungry! Potatoes tonight, with zesty soup over them. I can hardly weight!

Today is an 8.

My nerves are bad. I am just praying and keeping faith. I am bummed because I made lunch and then left it in the kitchen, where I KNOW Ruby will drag it all over my house! Grrrr. I didn’t work out – have to do it this evening. Boo.

Monday, November 15

November Challenge: Week 3, # 3

30 minutes; 257 calories burned; 7.025 miles biked.

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 3 (First day at work, running commentary!)

5:30 - Hit snooze and then decide that I am not about to get up this lovely, cozy, rainy morning and workout. Turn alarm off.
6:30 - Get up and move the littles around a bit to get them waking up.
7:00 - With Pokemon blaring and both littles dressed I start their lunch, and decide to pack mine also - what fun!
8:30 - Get to work, late. Somehow I have the amazing ability to waste time like a champ! Clock in and first thing I do is fill two water bottles. I am ready! Second thing I do is start the "running commentary" as this will be the tool I turn to when I feel week!
9:01 - Now, see, this is boredom hungry - I think. No, might be real. I had a yogurt this morning because I opened it by squeezing it in the fridge door and I could not think of a way to bring it to work without making a hella mess. Maybe I am hungry because usually I would have my yogurt now. Might just be routine kicking in. Either way, I guess I will drink my first bottle of water and take my vitamins and then I can eat breakfast at first break!
10:06 - I am warming my breakfast! Yum!
10:20 - OMG! You guys this breakfast is the bomb! I am using more points than I would normally, but I want to be full and plan very few snacks! I am eating a burger from last night, with the mushrooms, on an English muffin, so yum!
11:51 - I have my lunch set up and on a plate in front of me (well, to the side really.) I added 24 pretzels which calculate to 2 points BUT are like only 5 calories from 3 points so I am charging 3 points for them. As part of my B2P boot camp I am to finish my water and then wait ten minutes before I can eat lunch. :D Almost done with the water!
11:53 - Done! Waiting... waiting... (Okay, you get the picture!) When I do eat my goal is to make it last 20 minutes or more!
12:03 - Starting lunch if I could get off the effin' phone. See, this is why eating at your desk kinda sucks!
12:38 - Just finished lunch, mainly because the world sucks and I had to take a break a freak out! Still, making lunch last goal completed!
1:16 - Emotional eating is nagging at me. I am upset and I want to feast.
1:45 - I did it, I ate my FiberPlus bar! BOO!
2:45 - With the issue cleared up I realized that my bar was gone and so for evening break I am eating a Light n' Fit yogurt that I froze the other day!
3:51 - Feeling good and strong! Happy and ready to go home and face the Toostie rolls!

Today is a 7.

:( Sad because the kids are off to school and the love has to work in another state today which means she is FAR away. Hope it is only one day. On the positive side: lunch will be easy to control ‘cause it is just me!

Sunday, November 14

November Challenge: Week 3, # 2

30 minutes; 237 calories burned; 7 miles biked! Whoa!

Today is a 9.

The pain has not spread, it is holding steady at “there but not too bad” and that is wonderful! Eating very clean and working out (well, I will be working out.) Right now I am heading to WallyWorld! Yay!

Saturday, November 13

November Challenge: Week 3, # 1

30 minutes; 273.7 calories burned; 7.472 miles biked.
I think I am going to have to pick between killer ripped workouts like that one or longer/multiple workouts. Either way. Right now I feel amazing – like I am high. (Kinda like the one time in eight grade when I huffed, only without the fear of getting caught, dying or my mom finding out!) (Gosh, I am so glad I grew up!)

Today is a 9.

Lost weight, feeling happy. Pain, eh. MoMo is sick, we are rolling to the doctor in a bit. Then I thought everyone would benefit from a little sunshine so we are heading to the lake with Subway snacks and waters! Yay! When we get home I have plans to workout as long as I can (I hope to get an hour down today.)

Weekly Meeting (Wk 26)

I heard some things are changing with the way WW defines their points. We will get more points, but things will cost more points. Hmmm. Well, I will give it a go – only this is working for me and I am hesitant to change anything! Total loss: 55.1! SHUT UP!!!!

Friday, November 12

November Challenge: Week 2, # 3

30 minutes; 208.1 calories burned; 6.338 miles biked.

Today is an 8.

Sadly I woke up with pain, I know – that sucks. It’s in my back, neck and shoulders and I can feel it seeping into my hands. Oh, well. I decided that made it extra important to work out, because I KNOW I will not want to do it later. I feel more tired than I should, so I think I might be in a down cycle. What can I do? It will not stop me. I am losing weight, I am happy and I am here to rock! :) Week end plans? Weigh in and sleep a bit! Yay! (Also have a dozen or so things to do with MoMo (Lou) and Putt!

Thursday, November 11

I love Smart Balance!

Seriously guys I have been using their light spread and then I found this popcorn. Now popcorn is a hot topic in the WW world because it is hard measure, and because it can be both a healthy snack and a REALLY bad one. While the box is a bit misleading this popcorn is (at worse) 6 points for the whole bag. So today this is my snack and I am loving it!

I win!!!!

Seriously this has been sitting on my desk, open and half eaten, for like FOREVER (18 minutes) and I feel great. Yay God given will power!

Yesterday was a 5, today an 8.

Well, thank you God! It is turning around and I am happy about it! Yesterday my boss was in an awful mood and it slowly decayed any good will I had. I got home and I worked out and you know what? I felt better. (I know that I knew that, I just could not get it done.) Today, however, I woke up at 5:34 and I started my workout and I feel SOOOO much better! Yay! Thanks, everybody, for sticking with me. Thanks Nari, for always having a kind word that really lifts my spirits when I need it! :)
Also, if you didn’t see the video – my mom is in the clear. Another great big shout out to the Lord above! Thanks!!!

November Challenge: Week 2; # 2

30:10 minutes; 225.9 calories burned; 6.406 miles biked. 5:45 in the morning! THANK YOU, GOD!!!

Wednesday, November 10

November Challenge: Week 2, # 1

This has been shameful! Down right shameful! I got my head out of the clouds today. I shook it off, and I got a flippin’ grip. I am not expecting immediacy – though that would be nice – and I know that only I can constantly evolve for myself and constantly adjust myself and my routine. It is natural to want to stick to what works, but in life things change and you either change with them or get left behind. So today I choose to change!
I present to you the first non-suckage workout in way too long – 30 minutes; 230 calories burned; 6.586 miles biked!!!! I’m back!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 9

OMG you guys.

I am sooo trying to get back at it and I feel like I doing a pretty good job today. I have drank four of these water bottles full of water. I also took my vitamins, yay. Now, just to start kicking ass at the work outs. :)

Today is a 6.

I am worried about my mom. I am sad and I am lost. I am stuck in prayer – the kind that comes from constant fear. :(

Monday, November 8

Today is a 6.

Oooh, not good. Creeping lower. Somehow I have been forgetting my vitamins. I need to work on that! Also, I keep putting off working out. This is no good and it will not take me down!

Sunday, November 7

Yesterday was a 7, today a 7.

Yesterday was a 7 – good, not great; today is the same. I am so tired and so empty. I feel like going to bed and staying there FOREVER. Hmmmm. MUST workout today, I gave myself yesterday off.

Saturday, November 6

Weekly Meeting (Wk 25)

Well, it's a loss. Sorry to post so late.

Friday, November 5

Christmas party?

I really want my phone by the time this year’s Christmas party rolls around. One of the things I like the most is that several of the reviews I have read mentions that the user would be comfortable leaving their point and shoot camera as well as their flip recorder home unless they KNEW they needed something special. (Well, I would love to cart all that around!)

Today is a 7.

I am soooo tired. I cannot wait to get home and get to bed. I weigh in tomorrow and pray to God it is a good one. Not a bad day, not a great on either.

November Challenge: Week 1, # 3

30 minutes; 140 calories burned; 5.938 miles biked.
On a Friday? Yep, on a Friday. At least I got it done, y’all!

Thursday, November 4

Today is a 7.

I am in a grump foul mood. I feel like I am gaining. I have made less than stellar choices and I am worried. (I stayed in my points, BUT did so wretchedly!)

This ia ALL about control!

I just can’t do it. I feel like it’s a will power thing. I want something sweet and before I can enjoy it I have consumed it. I want to fix this so that I can have a piece of candy without it becoming a problem.

November Challenge: Week 1, # 2

30 minutes; 159.3 calories burned; 4.946 miles biked – 5:30 in the father f*cking morning!
I screwed the pooch on this week. I let everything ride till the last day I comfortably like working out. So to get this done I had to work out this morning and this afternoon. Morning – done. Afternoon? I hope so!

Wednesday, November 3

New reward list!

So this was my old rewards list:
50 pounds – my love bag!
55 pounds – my choice of the Monster High dolls – I love Frankie!
60 pounds – blue PaperJamz guitar
65 pounds – PaperJamz amp
70 pounds – PaperJamz drums
75 pounds – another Monster High doll
Along with that I also got a new Kindle Christopher Moore book every week that I worked out. Only I decided I really want a reborn doll by a pricey artist and now I am putting all this $$$ towards that.
I already got my LOVE bag – LOVE it! But, for the next it goes like this:
55 pounds – $20 in doll fund
60 pounds – $25 in doll fund
65 pounds – $15 in doll fund
70 pounds – $20 in doll fund
75 pounds – $25 in doll fund
Instead of having a new Kindle book every week I work out I am putting 10 dollars to my doll! Yay!

Today is an 8.

I miss the wee ones. I know they were bored, but it was nice having them here with me. I can’t wait to be home with them all summer and then Putt will be home schooled and Lou will join us next year! Yay!

Tuesday, November 2

Today is a 10.

It would be a 9, but the joy of having the babies here at work with me over shadows the fact that this is the last day. :( Must work out today, I keep forgetting to get up in the morning! Yikes!

Monday, November 1

Today is a 10.

While, honestly, it is a bit stressful having the kids at work with me – it is also amazing! I feel so relaxed. :) Yay! Oh, and no dancing this week, what a relief from the norm. Maybe I will get my kitchen cleaned, and dinner cooked, and kids bathed all in one full night! Contest!

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