Little FAT Me

I work full time and I barely have time to breathe. In 2005 hurricane Katrina rearranged my life, since then I have gained roughly 80-90 pounds. I believe that it started in depression and became an addiction. I have started and failed many diets and then decided that MAYBE if I combine diet and exercise with blogging and shopping I might be able to find success. This is the story of 2010 and my struggle to rise above addiction, pain, depression and fat.
My photo
30. Mother. Wife. Artist. Psychic (sensitive.) Writer. Singer. Rain dancer. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Child of God.

The road to MY PERSONAL goal BMI/weight!

Friday, December 31

Oh, my!

Girls (and boys, if there are any that read this blog) let me tell you... I am, once again, pointing everything. Still, this is a glutton's weekend. I had said to myself, "Look, Fat, people always talk of the ONE time a year they go crazy, well this is yours." Then I weighed in and I am in the 180s and I just want to get better and better. Still, this was breakfast:

Today is a 10.

I so happy to be with my whole little fam! I would like nothing more than to live me life this way!

Weight Watchers (Wk 33)

This is a little different. I uploaded a video, but as I am using all mobil posting I can't go get it and put it here. I did weigh in yesterday and it was a good loss. 4.4 pounds. I don't think it was all this week. I think that that number is a reflection of hard work that had not shown up on the scale for various reasons.
My weight now: 188.8! I am so happy!

Thursday, December 30

Today is a 10!

Kids – with me! Vacation – starts tomorrow! Three days of family time and ♥! Yay! My babies are here and we have to run to WW to weigh in. I am a teeny bit bummed that I will not have a meeting this week, after all I have to be back to work RIGHT after weigh in and then I have things to do after work so I will not be able to do the evening meeting. I am a bit tense over the weigh in also, because this morning my new scale, who has been pretty good and not being TOO wild with the swinging back and forth, blinked up at me and said, “188.8!” Yesterday it said, “189.5!” So I am thinking it is on the right track! Now, of course my WW weight will not be that low, after all that was my pant less and braless weight! (Could you also say shameless and classless? Probably.) :)

Wednesday, December 29

December Challenge: Week 4, # 3

OMG! You guys, I had the best run today. I had the kids and they LOVED playing at the gym and I loved working out with them there! It was the first REAL GOOD run since last week! Awesome!
Nari – THANK YOU – for understanding just HOW important football is! ;)

Today is a 10!

Kids home with me? Check!
Stomach bug clearing up? Check! (Seriously, I thought I was out for the count, but I seem better.)
Gym trip? Check!
Zoo? Possible!
Making candy rings? Probable!
Helping Be? Check!
Woot! Woo!

Tuesday, December 28

December Challenge: Week 4, # 2

So I was all set to have dinner on the table and hit the gym as soon as my Be got home, but no. That was not the master plan! Sunday Night Football is on TONIGHT, for the first time since 1946 SNF is on Tuesday! So I hit the tried and trusted bike for a solid 30 minutes!

December Challenge: Week 4, # 1

Yoga! Yes, it counts. Oh let me tell you how it counts! I stretched, I strained, I shook and I overcame! Yay! I am ‘having my moment’ and it feels like it has been with me FOREVER, working out with the cramps I had was not an option, so I Adviled up and I went for yoga! Yay!

Today is a 9.

Would be a 10 – but to be honest I have not been eating the BEST, best. In my brain I am pretty sure this is due to several things. Ready? (Okay!) (Sorry, it was a throwback to a brief moment where I might have been a cheerleader!)
1) The holiday season has brought a lot of good foods. While I HAVE NOT indulged at every moment or in the really unhealthy things, I have indulged and counted points.
2) My shifting plans, and then shifting again – rough!
3) My meetings being all screwed up because my Saturday meeting is all discombobulated!

So, while I wanted to lose five pounds – I will be glad to lose, just keep losing… just keep losing… losing… losing… losing… (Whoops, that was a Nemo moment.) :)

Monday, December 27

Having a "It is COLD!" nerd day!

I can't believe it.

I actually like to get dressed up for things. Usually I hate going anywhere. Just this year it was a sad event. Nothing fit and trying on was no fun. Now, I'm in the 190's, FAR cry from where I want to be and yet shopping and dressing up are so much more fun! I can't even think of how fun it will be after I am smaller and tummy tucked and everything.

Yesterday - 9. Today - 7.

Let’s start with yesterday: great day, only mom took MoMo off for a while and then for a sleep over and I missed her. I did get a nap in, but still. I did not get a work out in.
Today: I did not go to sleep until 4 ish, and I am sleepy. My anxiety is a bit on edge and I feel SO SLEEPY. I can’t wait to yoga and run this afternoon, it has been like three days. Then, the football game with the fam! Yay!

Saturday, December 25

The Christmas gift that keeps on giving...

So, I am a very lucky little girl and I talk about that ALL the time. Right now, though, I am talking about the fact that my boss (who I love) loves me! So for Christmas I got a 25 dollar gift card to Barnes & Noble. Now this WOULD be amazing, but for the fact that I only read on my Kindle - I know, I know. Right not I am trying to get through a ACTUAL book that my mother passed along to me. It's good, a Jackie O. book, but I feel like a total klutz trying to deal with a real book! Anywho, I went to Barnes & Nobles website - because I am nothing if not an AMAZING on-line shopper! I stumbled along magazine subscriptions. Then I thought, "Do you even know how long it has been since I had a good mag?" I used to pick up the gossip rags, but that information is free and available faster on-line. I used to read the fashion mags, but only 'cause my sister had them around. I used to read HeavyMetal, but that just isn't me anymore. So I looked around a bit and came up with these:4 Hi Fructose art magazines over the year starting in January. 12 Interview magazines monthly starting in February. 6 Complex magazines bi-monthly starting in March. 12 Philadelphia magazines starting either February or March! Yay!

Today is a 10.

The kids are having a blast! The presents are all opened and things are going well and fun! I wish everyday could be this way! :)

Friday, December 24

Today is a 9.

Good day, rough moments. I hate food, it just messes everything up.

December Challenge: Week 3, # 4

So this was technically yesterday as it is 12:56 in the morning on Christmas eve! I went to the gym, though I almost did not. I am very sore from yoga and the hard (but soooo good) run I had yesterday and still I went. After starting I knew things were different today than they have been in a long time! My legs were exploding in pain, not fibro or erythema pain, workout pain! I modified my expectations, walking at 3.8 mph and running at 4.5 mph – for five, then three, then three with walking breaks! It was nice to feel, however uncomfortable. It means that yoga really was a challenge and that it worked something not usually worked, which is always good!

Thursday, December 23

Today is an 8. (Well, maybe a 9.)

It would be a 10 if the kids were home, as they will be tomorrow! Yay! We have been sorting and prepping gifts and I can’t wait till the festivities! I am down a pound – HAPPY!

Wednesday, December 22

December Challenge: Week 3, # 3

Today was a wild day – wild. I went to a yoga class that is taught by my best-ie and she was an AMAZING leader. It kicked my ass, but I can not wait to go back! Then, on top of that insanity I went to the gym! That is right, I went to the GYM! I walked/jogged for 14-15 minutes, and I ran 15-17 minutes – A-mazing!

Today is an 8.

The wee ones are a bit better! They are having fun and hanging with Mimi. I am feeling more focused and happier. Today is a surprize sushi day because I weigh in tomorrow and not Saturday! (EEK!)

Tuesday, December 21

Exactly! has a new (temporary) home page that EXACTLY expresses what I am always saying and the reason I YouTube and blog! Check it out:

Today is a 7.

My mom called and MoMo is coming down with a sore throat. :( Poor baby… I miss my pumpkins.

December Challenge: Week 3, # 2

I have no idea how I keep not putting these in on the day it happens. Yesterday I hit the gym and did a twee bit of running! Love sweating and working so hard!

Monday, December 20

Two 8s in a row.

Yesterday I dropped the kids off at my moms and my Mo wanted to come home. Thing is she would have to sit at work and do nothing… She was fine after I left, still I felt bad.
Today is an 8 because I am tired and frustrated with the new WW plan. I have decided to go back to the old and I feel good. I just hopw I have not damaged my momentum! Grrr…

Sunday, December 19

December Challenge: Week 3, # 1

Yesterday! What the heck is going on!
Okay – running, not as far, as fast or as long as I had been. I have a bit of pain on my shins. Still, I pushed and I got it done. 30ish minutes – I say that because my shoe came all undone and I took to long lacing it (because they HAVE to feel the same or I wig) and then the bike would not let me restart. :P Roughly 185 calories and about two miles.

Saturday, December 18

Life happens...

I went and paid eighty flippin' dollars for the GF's second biggest Christmas present and then I couldn't get it out the car. So when she got home I let her have it (so she could get it out the car) and as she stood there holding it it bust into about thirty pieces. Great!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 31)

Up. Up .6 – total loss 60.9! Not a bad number, but still a gain is hard to swallow!

Today is a 7.

I am just a bit more than a twee bit bummed over my weigh in. I am dying to get to the gym and confused by where to go from here… On the other hand I am happy the littles are home and that they get to go absorb Mimi’s love for a few days! I get to too! Yay!

Friday, December 17

Today is a 10.

The kids, while sick, are here at work with me. That makes my heart swell with happy! I am praying that I lost weight, I tried hard and made myself proud at the gym – so, hopefully!

Thursday, December 16

PointsPlus: Week 1, day 3

Food has been less than awesome because I have to work. Dinner has been the only thing I could really have fun with. Tonight I made sesame burgers. So good!

Dinner: 7 pp pts. (same as it would be on the old plan.)

KK exchange day 4

Yes, there were other days and yes, my presents have been awesome. Today the gift really rocks. I got a new, really cool, water bottle. It even had a rainbow'

What is a 5K?

I think to be ready in April I have to have a clear picture of what I am working towards. So a 5K is 5 kilometers or 3.1 miles. At this point my best “run” has been at a 13 minute mile pace for 20 minutes. Roughly 1.5 miles ran consistantly, but that was on a treadmill. I have NO idea what I am capable of outside in the real world. I have decided to spend the rest of December & January attempting to have myself run 3.1 miles. In February I will be adding and incline to stimulate outdoor running. In March I am taking this thing to the park to run laps in the real world and focusing my treadmill training on speed. April – well, that is when I try. My only actual goal is to finish, I don’t care what time or how I do it – just FINISH.

December Challenge: Week 2, # 3

I joined the gym (as you might have noticed :P) and I RAN at a 13 minute mile pace for 20 minutes! With a 5 minute warm up and a 5 minute cool down! Yay! I am so happy and in love with my gym!

Today is a 7.

I am really happy about joining the gym. I am really happy with my run yesterday. I HATE that my MoMo is getting worse and not better. I hate that I can’t stay home with them! :( Boo!

How to join a gym!


How I did it:

Well, I was too freaked to go myself so I got Be, my GF, to go with one day when we didn't have the kids. We just walked in and expected to pay like five bucks to use the gym for a day, but come to find out they (and most gyms) give away free trials so we signed up! over the next ten days I went as often as I could and decided that I wanted to join. Only Be wanted me to try other gyms and make sure I liked that one the best. I went to another local gym and hated it! I hated the layout, the clicks, the whole energy and I felt like I might cry. I came home and said, "Thank God I did not go there first, because i would never have gone to another!"
Moral of that story: CHECK OUT MORE THAN ONE!!!! Because while they all have buff gym bunnies who may be a little intimidating at first, there are nice people willing to help at some, and that high school nerd-jock feeling does not exist in each gym!

It took me 3 weeks.

It made me So happy!

Wednesday, December 15

PointsPlus: Week 1, day 4

Well I only took a picture of dinner. I really did not feel okay at ALL yesterday and I feel a little better now! Yay!

Dinner: 5 points, same as always!

Today is an 8.

I have a wee bit more spring in my step than yesterday. I skipped working out and got A LOT of rest. (Thanks, Nari!) Today I am heading to the gym to join and then to a dancing party! (Oh, my!)

They are everywhere!

This is how I live, y'all! It is at once both lovely and a pain. Having the tap youngest be the same age and that age being under a year old is ROUGH! They get into everything all the time. Constantly. :)

This is Molly in her new favorite spot in the house.

Tuesday, December 14

Today is a 7.

I am sooo tired. My body aches all over and I know it will be hard to workout tonight. :P If I had sick time me and the kids would be staying home, but I missed work two weeks ago and I know I can’t afford to miss again anytime soon. Still, I am full of dread because the way I feel I will probably wind up driving in and then being unable to work and sleeping at my desk while my legs swell – not getting paid anyway. :( This sucks.
Chin up, shake it off – I WILL feel better soon and I AM going running tonight. Case closed.

Monday, December 13

Gym # 2.

There is literally nothing I liked, at all. The people there were rude and a little mean, the place was SO full I felt I was choking, the walls were mirrors and beige, the music was not on, the TV’s are strangely placed so I couldn’t check the scores or see ESPN, the energy is stuffy and weird. At gym number one there is flow, bright colors, and what I really like is that cardio is upstairs so the people up there are not BSing, they are pushing themselves to out of breath. At this gym the weight lifter are all over the place, right at your back flexing in the mirrors you are running into and talking load and laughing strange. Ugh. I came home and told Be that I couldn’t run. I went there KNOWING what I was capable of and KNOWING what I want out of a gym visit and just could not get comfortable there. I could not imagine if that was the first place I went, I probably never would have discovered running and I certainly would not have tried another gym!
This is repetitive, so if you read my other goals or my blog you have already read this:
I hate it. It is small and the treadmills literally face a wall of mirrors, so you run facing yourself. To make it worse, directly behind the treadmills are the weight machines where you sit and pull down – staring right at your backside as you walk/run. I could not lose myself, there I was staring back at me every time you glance up! I could not zone out because there was nothing in front of me to look at. Ugh and blah! I hated it. I think I am going to join my original gym tomorrow!

PointsPlus: Week 1, day 3 - the food.

I decided not to take a picture of my breakfast this morning because it was oat meal and that just looked like eww when I took a gander through the lens. Also, I had a yogurt. Fun! Breakfast was 5 pp pts. and would have been 3.

Lunch: big lunch today. I am a sucker for falafel and come to find out tzatziki sauce is REALLY low in points so I used the left over as salad dressing. What fun! 18 pp pts. (would have been 14 pts.)

Dinner: this is a recipe I have worked on twice. It is a portabella mushroom cap stuffed with extra lean ground turkey and then topped with fresh baby spinach, red sauce and Italian style finely shredded cheese. 6 pp pts. (would have been 6 pts.)

December Challenge: Week 2, # 2

43 minutes; 223 calories burned; 2.48 miles walked.
I HATE this gym! I hate it. It is small and the treadmills literally face a wall of mirrors, so you run facing yourself. To make it worse, directly behind the treadmills are the weight machines where you sit and pull down – staring right at your backside as you walk/run. I could not lose myself, there I was staring back at me every time you glance up! I could not zone out because there was nothing in front of me to look at. Ugh and blah! I hated it. I think I am going to join my original gym tomorrow!

Staying warm!

In 2005-06 after hurricane Katrina, I found myself living a little further north than I am used to. (Not hard as I am a bayou baby from WAY down south!) Of course, as with 99.9% of EVERYTHING I owned, I has lost my coat to the storm. So that Christmas my mom bought me a coat. I had gained 30 pounds from September to December (yeah, I know) and my coat was a size 16. A year later (Christmas 2006) when I went to put it on I took off the waist tie because it barely tied. The next year I stopped buttoning it. Last year I wore it and almost cried because it would not even close. I just could not bring myself to buy a new one. Honestly because I DID NOT want to go shopping for a new coat – I mean how much would a tent size coat cost? Well, this last week it has gotten COLD and I had just dropped my poor, abused, busted and thrown to the bottom of the closet coat off to be cleaned. Of course when I got it back it was hot again and I hung it in the way back. Today, it is FREEZING and I put my coat on with dread. (Even though I know I lost weight I am always surprised by it!) My coat FITS! It is wonderful and it wraps around me! I think I am going to the wedding stop to pick up a light blue sash to use as a new waist tie! Thank God! I am SO excited. Everyday it’s like something new inspires me and reminds me that this “hard work” is not THAT hard when I consider the rewards!

Today is an 8.

I ♥ my KK gift and I had fun going over there… I just wish the babinas were well and happy. I did their hair in bows this morning and I dosed them both with a cough & cold thin strip… Poor littles, that makes me sad.
I is SO DANG cold here! 38^ and dropping. It feels like a knife when the wind hits. I have SUCH a hard time at this point in the year. Bring a jacket, then it gets hot for three days – next time it gets FREEZING you scramble for your jacket only to realize you either left it at work or in your car! Dang!

KK exchange day 1!

So the last time I played I felt silly filling out the information paper. This year, infused with new life and feeling like, "Hell, I am cool and this paper should reflect that!" I filled it out with fun facts. Well, that paid off because day one and I got a SOCK MONKEY! His name is Hash Brown! ('cause I have a smaller one just like him named Tatter Tot!) LOVE it!

Sunday, December 12

December Challenge: Week 2, # 1

33:30 minutes; 240 calories burned; 8.238 miles biked!
It was a long road and I put it off big time, but in the end – I got it done.

PointsPlus: Week 1, day 2 - the food.

Breakfast: 6 pp pts. (formally 3 pts.)

Lunch: 11 pp pts. (formally 9.)

Dinner: Not pictured a biscuit and a veggie sausage patty. 7 pp pts. (formally 4 pts.)

Game day snack: 2 pp pts. (formally 1 pts.)

Game day snacks: 4 pp pts. (formally 3 pts.)

Also, I am starting a new vitamin routine because I kinda got out of the habit and decided that while I was restarting I would go ahead and add a hair, nails & skin complex and a zinc supplement!

Yesterday was a 9, today a 9.

I wish I was staying home with the kids… I have pain humming in each of the upper fibro points. I want to workout, but have been putting it off. I did get to the grocery, and I did get the medicine cabinet organized, and I did get some photos printed and framed… I just really wish we had things paid off and the kids home. That would be great!
Yesterday I lost 2 pounds at my weigh in. It was unexpected and throughly appreciated! Thank God!

Saturday, December 11

PointsPlus: Week 1, day 1 - the food.

Let's just remember that at 193.6 I am working with 30 PointsPlus points. 30! That is how many momentum points I got when I started this at 255!
Also I started my day with a double no sugar added hot chocolate for 3 pp pts. That would have cost 2 before!

Breakfast: 6 pp pts. (would have been 3.)

Lunch: 7 pp pts. (would have been 5 pts.)

Dinner: 5 pp pts. (would have been 5.)

Date night! Movie snack: 7 pp pts. (would have been 4.)

So there we have it. I also ended my day with a ice cream sandwich that went from 2 points to FOUR! Oh, well. Grand total: 32 points. Tracked on my iPhone. Today was a day off from exercise which means that Sunday and Monday are on days. :)

Weekly Meeting (Wk 30)

Down 2 – total loss 61.5!

Goals - updated!

Starting weight – 255
Current weight – 193.6
First goal – 10% of starting weight – 25 pounds – need to lose: DONE
Second goal – 10% of new weight (230) – 23 pounds – need to lose: DONE
Third goal – 10% of new weight (207) – 20 pounds – need to lose: 6.6
Fourth goal – 10% of new weight (187) – 18 pounds – need to lose: 24.6
100 pound goal – projected new weight (169) – 14 pounds – 38.6

Friday, December 10

December Challenge: Week 1, # 3

30 minutes; 222 calories burned; 7.535 miles biked!

Today is an 8.

The kids are sick – bad. (At least they decided to be sick at the same time FOR ONCE! – good.) (It’s the weekend – good.) (Mild colds, no serious tummy or bathroom issues – good.)
I am having pain again, based mainly in my shoulders and hands – bad. I actually worked out yesterday and it was really refreshing – good.
As far away as I feel, I feel kinda like I am where I am supposed to be.
_“Father please forgive me for I cannot compose
the fear that lives within me
or the rate at which it grows.
If struggle has a purpose
on this narrow road You’ve carved
why do I fear my trespasses will leave a deadly scar.”_
dcTalk – What If I Stumble

Thursday, December 9

December Challenge: Week 1, # 2

30 minutes; 185.4 calories burned; 6.538 miles biked!

Today is a 9.

I feel a little better about things. I feel like I am going to find my way through this week. Deep breath. I feel like I can be a great mom and that I can be a good teacher – we are hoping to home school next year. I need to find a church, I know that. I want that. I miss that. It’s just hard to find one that is not just tolerant, but accepting, of my lifestyle. The last thing I want is to raise my kids with the fear that their mothers are going to hell. God knows I know how that feels, I spent every Sunday praying for my father’s soul because he chose to go fishing. As an adult I know that my father has his own relationship with God and that it is okay if it doesn’t look the same as everyone thinks it should. I miss worship and I miss the love and support of a church… We tried a few years back to find one, I think it is time to try again.

59.5 pounds later...

I don’t know if you remember what the maxi dress pictures looked like, I have them on here in my post. This is my Christmas party dress! How fun! At this point I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me, but this was seriously the first time in five years that we went to this party and I was happy with how I looked!

As a reminder!

Wednesday, December 8


I need to not give up. I have been here before. This place where I am tired and there seems to be no time for anything!

Today is an 8.

I love my family. I just want everyone to be happy and healthy. I need to try to let things go. Not over worry. I need to just trust in God and let the rest melt away. I need to do that for myself and for my daughter. She is 8 and she should not worry as much as she does.

Tuesday, December 7

December Challenge: Week 1, # 1

This happened Saturday! 33.53 minutes; 2.43 miles; 4.31 mph!

Yesterday was 7 and today is an 8.

We drank WAY too much. I don’t ever plan on doingthat again in my life. I don’t, and I know it will not happen because I know I control me. I am focusing my energy on getting back to plan and I am going to probably go to the new WW plan. I don’t know.
My oldest baby is calming down. I am working really hard on her feeling safe and my feeling safe, trying to free her of her anxiety. Baby steps, but we are taking them. Today I am back to eating well and working out this evening. Yay!

Saturday, December 4

Today is a 9.

Today is an awesome day! My mom’s doctor called and they believe that she will be fine NO SURGERY, and that they can simply monitor her to be sure! So – YEAH! My daughter, well we are taking baby steps, but steps all the same! My cat, after I broke down in tears last night, just meandered in! We have our party, and if I could bring the kids this day would be BEYOND a 10! Thank You, God! Thank you all mu friends! (Thank you, Nari, for the kind comments and prayers!)

Friday, December 3

Today is a 3.

My mother’s doctor has still not called.
My daughter is OVER worried about everything, well OF COURSE she is. Like mother, like daughter. Only she should not have to feel that way, she is a child.
My cat, Darius Jane, has not been home for a full 24 hours and I feel consumed with grief.
I don’t know how to wait. I can’t function waiting for Darry to come home or waiting for mom’s doctor. Recently I noticed that there is a mental shark circling and that is death. I have been overly crunching numbers on how much time we have left and what if’s and such things. I have to learn to let go, enjoy and live. Only in my brain there seems there lives a glitch.

Thursday, December 2

November Challenge: The lost week between November and December, # 4

Well, it is the first workout back on the stationary and I am not enjoying it. I miss running. When I kinda mentioned that to the GF she said, “I know, baby, and I know how important it is to get you back on a treadmill. One way or another it will happen soon.” And THAT is why I am SO lucky!

Today is a 5.

I am really worried about my mother, again. I wish her doctor would call. I feel like I am holding my breath, I didn’t fall asleep until after 3 last night. Please, God, guide us through this. Protect us, as always and let this be behind us soon.

Wednesday, December 1

Today is an 8.

It would be a 9, but I am sad that I can’t go to the gym until next week (when I can pay for it.) Also, MoMo has a field trip to the city and I can’t chaperon so I am sad that she might not get to go.

November Challenge: The lost week between November and December, # 3

Yesterday: I went to the gym and ran 5 mph for 17 minutes, walked/jogged 3.9 mph for 13! Yeah. Oh, yeah!

Tuesday, November 30

THE shoes.

Like some girls dream of that perfect white dress, the one they will build the entire wedding around, I dream of the shoes. Christian Louboutin is actually a bit high for my budget, but I am really in love with these. They are everything this little girl can dream about!

THE shoes.

Like some girls dream of that perfect white dress, the one they will build the entire wedding around, I dream of the shoes. Christian Louboutin is actually a bit high for my budget, but I am really in love with these. They are everything this little girl can dream about!

Blow Pop!

11:00 – Unwrap one grape blow pop.
11:01 – Start the timer.
11:03 – I can see the tiny tab of gum on the side and that makes it easier to not bite the dang thing!
11:19 – 17:33.2 minutes later you can consider this DONE! Oh, stop timer!

Saturday, April 2, 2011, 8:30 AM

That is the date and time of the first event I want to put myself in and I plan on running! There are others that I might check out but that is the one I am holding myself to! That means I have four months to get myself into it. I see this as a run on the treadmill and build myself up for two months and then take it to an outdoor venue and get myself ready for the outdoor aspect of it!

Today is an 8.

I picked out a new year resolution today. I feel happy with it, and I might make a few more! :)

Monday, November 29

November Challenge: The lost week between November and December, # 2

40 minutes; over 2.5 miles walked/jogged/RAN; over 220 calories burned. Today I RAN a mile strait! Then I took five to power walk and then I RAN another half mile. I am in love with how it feels. It is getting better, my heart rate is more normal and I breathe okay and I just push!

Today is an 8.

I wish I was at home. At this point just praying that we get where we need to be to get married and home school next year! Fingers crossed!

This might be next week!

I have been going for a week as part of a free trial. I really like the gym I am going to and they have a low monthly month to month rate. I have been jogging and loving going. I think that I am going to join and make my goal, starting January, to workout four days and make sure the gym is two on them!

Sunday, November 28

Today is a 9.

I am sad because this long, beautiful family weekend is over. :(

Tootsie Roll monkey!

Thank God I have gotten to a point where I am cool with candy being around. MoMo made a Tootsie Roll monkey with a base of pretzels. She is having fun and I am loving the creations!

Saturday, November 27

November Challenge: The lost week between November and December, # 1

45 minutes, 2.63 miles walked/jogged, 240 calories burned

Yesterday was an 8, today a 9.

This weekend has been long and beautiful, for various reasons it has shifted and turned BUT it is only a 9 because it is coming to an end! Loved working out and LOVED being with family!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 28)

What? Down 57.5 over all! Loss 1.6 on Thanksgiving week!

Friday, November 26

Tangled in 3D!

I am counting it as 2 points and I am proud of me!

November Challenge: Week 4, # 4

Gym! Jogged! 15 of 37 minutes! I am in love with life! Yeah!

Thursday, November 25

Today was a 10.

Turkey, fruit, veggies, family, laughter, football, kittens, pets, home, job ~ God gave, and gave plenty. Thank You, God, for my many blessings. Those that have been received and those yet to come. For my life, and all the good in it! For hearing my prayers and loving me and protecting me. For my family and our love.

Wednesday, November 24

November Challenge: Week 4, # 3

Went to the gym and kicked ass! Jogged for 32 minutes and walked REALLY EFFINFAST for 18!

Today is a 9.

I jogged yesterday. No really! Anywho, the kids come home from my mom’s house and I stop by the gym to JOG again! Then FOUR day weekend with turkey and football tomorrow. Say a tiny prayer for the Saints! Yay!

Tuesday, November 23

November Challenge: Week 4, # 2

I JOGGED!!!!! 30 minute workout, 20 minutes jogging and 12ish walking FAST! OMG! I am so happy!


I am always saying that one of the major differences between this time I am losing weight and every other time is that this time I am not shy about it. I am quick to say I started at 255 and that I have lost 55.9 pounds. I am fast to say that I am weight watching and that I can eat what I want but I choose to eat well. The overwhelming support that has garnered me is amazing and today, my birthday, was a big example. Birthdays in the office are all about the cake, when I got to work today I had a lovely gift and a wonderful surprise:

Happy birthday to me!

30 and I don't feel old. That is good, I guess. I feel happy and nervous (because I drank coffee!) I feel like it is the year I lose all my weight and I unlock myself and all my true potential.

Today is a 9.

Would be a 10, but the kids are with mom. It’s my birthday – 30! (And under 200 pounds!) Yesterday I slept all day, litterally! Like I woke, got dressed, slept in the car. Got to work and slept at my desk, slept in the car ride home and went strait to bed. I slept through Monday night football and dinner! I guess I needed it because today I feel great and I am happy! Yay!

Monday, November 22

Today is a 5.

I do not feel well.

Sunday, November 21

Today is a 5.

Hmmm. Still gone, still missed.

November Challenge: Week 4, # 1

37 minutes on Pia, my real bike. No idea how much distance I covered or how many calories burned, but it was fun and I feet good!

Saturday, November 20

Today is a 9.

I miss the littles, but I have had fun with my ♥ and we have been having a blast being grown ups! From distillery tours to festivals in the city and now onto grill outside… Happy.

UNDER 200!!!!

I weigh 199.2! I am under and I will try my best to never be there again! Now, I know that the next few weeks with holidays and such will be hard. My goal is to lose at least five pounds from now to January 1st. Then to lose seven before February. Of course that is just what I am thinking now and I may very well be adjusting that!
On a fun, crazy note – my BMI was 41.1 when I started this and it is now 34.2! 24-29.9 is overweight, which means that is 4.3 BMI points I will no longer be obese! INSANE!

Weekly Meeting (Wk 27)

Well, I was really upset about loosing only a LITTLE bit on a week when I kicked my own ass! Then, about five minutes ago I started my period! Yay! If things go “okay” this week then I will most probably lose!

Friday, November 19

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 6 (A day at work, ru... B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 7 (A day at work, running commentary.)

8:41 - I got to work on time and made boss happy by making coffee. As today is my "lighter" day and I really wanted to drink my breakfast I shook up a SlimFast. Vanilla is really good!
9:30 - Ate two waffles! SO GOOD!
12:00 - Hanging at the fancy building so that we chica can pick out KK pals. I can not wait I love KK! Eating sushi for lunch and a Smoothie King for dinner.
4:45 - Signing off!

Today is a 7.

I sent the babes off to school knowing that they go to my mother’s this weekend. Sad. I am at work alone. Sad. I can’t wait to weigh in. Happy. I have done well this week and get to take the day off from work outs. Happy. Thank God, for everything. Thank God.

Thursday, November 18

November Challenge: Week 3, # 6

No idea how much of what besides doing 30 minutes; I turned off the bike and just worked out while hanging with MoMo. Still, 30 done! DAYS THIS WEEK!

Today is an 8.

Love my babies and they are going to be with my mother for the next five days, starting tomorrow. :( I know I should be glad for the grown up time, but as it draws near all I feel is sad.

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 6 (A day at work, running commentary.) (More like a b*tch session.)

11:38 - Uh, someone tell me why I had a great morning. I got the kids off and picked up a Subway breakfast and STILL got to work 16 minutes before normal. I walked in here happy to be here and TODAY my boss decided to be a jack hole! Why is it 11:39 and I am JUST getting this started? Grrr! Stomp. Okay, I am out of steam. I just can't seem to keep a petty rant going these days. I must just be a being of love and light, or maybe I am simply growing up. Wouldn't that be a hoot!
What? Oh, yeah, to the food! Subway breakfast, water (not as much as I should have had) and a mid-morning snack of wheat waffles sans syrup! Yum! I am a crack head when it comes to spray butter and I swear any food I can give a good spray down without looking way too strange is high on my list!
12:09 - Lunch, and water! Must drink more water! Oh, and while we are talking about it I am going to pause... and I ook my vitamins!
12:52 - I am not hungry, on the contrary, I am very satified - and yet, all I can think is, "What of dinner?" I have turkey that I HAVE to cook, but maybe I will freeze it and go the way of breakfast for dinner! Yay!
1:40 - Eating pretzels instead of drinking water because I am out and can not leave my desk until this job it done. This sucks, I am still thirsty!
2:49 - Hi, Nari!
2:50 - Filled my water and ran to the bathroom. I hate days when I feel like a slave at my desk. I like the ones where I get to wonder a bit a whole lot more. I just ate my Fiber One yogurt! So yum. After I get to roll out early today so this might very well be my last post of the day!

Wednesday, November 17

November Challenge: Week 3, # 5

30 minutes; 229 calories burned; 6.175 miles biked.

It's a numbers game.

In my head, at any given time, I have a number of different challenges and goals for my weight loss. Numbers that I am always crunching to make myself feel good. So let’s take a quick look at where I am at.
Starting weight – 255
Current weight – 200
First goal – 10% of starting weight – 25 pounds – need to lose: DONE
Second goal – 10% of new weight (230) – 23 pounds – need to lose: DONE
Third goal – 10% of new weight (207) – 20 pounds – need to lose: 12.9
Fourth goal – 10% of new weight (187) – 18 pounds – need to lose: 30.9
100 pound goal – projected new weight (169) – 14 pounds – 44.9

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 5 (A day at work, running commentary.)

8:53 - Just got my water! Yeah! I have these little sugarless coffee cakes, but they are four points so I might just wait on them.
9:15 - I am kind of dying for something to eat and at this point it's like a million years before 9:30 break. In fact the only thing keeping me sane is the fact that my boss' wife is sitting here and I KNOW I can't go toast my waffles infront of her.
9:30 - ♥ is making my waffles and I am taking my vit-y-mens!
9:57 - Oh, the beautiful feeling that my tummy has at this point. Bliss!
11:02 - Yogurt, because honestly all I can think of is the vegan burger I am going to have for lunch. I don't really suffer from the food boredom that so many talk about - when I like something I will eat it again and again! And again!
12:12 - I just sat down and have yet to take a bite. These little Morning Star Vegan burgers are so good that I am actually making myself work for it! (To say I am making myself drink at least half my water and go SLOW and enjoy it!) 20 minute lunch goal starts now!
12:26 - I have but a few bites left and already I am sad. This is such a good meal! As I write this I chew the last bit, I feel okay with the fact that my burger didn't take 20 to eat because I know I took my time, drank water and enjoyed the moment!
1:06 - A co-worker just said that my face looks "completely different and much better." I am trying to absorb the compliment and leave the bitch slap. A-hole!
1:25 - Confession: I just ate a pack of Pringle's Pretzel Stix just because. True story.
2:02 - Falling asleep.
3:15 - Took a snooze at afternoon break. Had a yogurt when I work up and now I am snacking on pretzels. WHAT? I needed salt!

Tuesday, November 16

November Challenge: Week 3, # 4

I am sweaty and I am tired. In case ANYONE missed that. My phone flippin’ froze THREE times during this workout. I kept going and was frustrated – BUT it was nice to get it done in the face of adversity! It is playing lovely now, yeah, um, thanks!
30 minutes; 225 calories burned; 6.592 miles biked. Whew!

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 4 (A day at work, running commentary!)

10:15 - I had not set this up and I regret that. Took some time to sign into Twitter on my iPhone and now I have a feed running at the top of my blog - yay! Just finished breakfast, sushi! Yum! Just to my vitamins and am working on my first bottle of water. I screwed up last night by not going to sleep! Boo!
10:45 - I am having a real hard time remembering if I took my vitamins, or if I forgot them! Yikes! Guess I will just go ahead and take them, one double dose can hurt. Right?
12:09 - Lunch started ten minutes ago and I warmed a vegan burger. (The patty, not the bun.) I still have a wee bit to my first bottle of water, so I am on like my third cup. I have to do better than this!
12:13 - Making lunch last is harder today, I think it is because I am tired! MUST go to sleep on time tonight!
12:28 - Finished my water and refilled! (That is usually where I fail - the whole refill.) I managed to make my lunch last roughly 15 minutes, so I am happy. Now, I just need to keep myself from snacking, which as I fall asleep I feel I need to do! I am soooo tired!
1:50 - Got pretzels. Am. So. Tired.
2:55 - I just woke up from a nap, shhh! Going to grab a yogurt and try to shake the sleepy!
3:52 - OMG! I am SOOOO hungry! Potatoes tonight, with zesty soup over them. I can hardly weight!

Today is an 8.

My nerves are bad. I am just praying and keeping faith. I am bummed because I made lunch and then left it in the kitchen, where I KNOW Ruby will drag it all over my house! Grrrr. I didn’t work out – have to do it this evening. Boo.

Monday, November 15

November Challenge: Week 3, # 3

30 minutes; 257 calories burned; 7.025 miles biked.

B2P 7 day mini challenge: Day 3 (First day at work, running commentary!)

5:30 - Hit snooze and then decide that I am not about to get up this lovely, cozy, rainy morning and workout. Turn alarm off.
6:30 - Get up and move the littles around a bit to get them waking up.
7:00 - With Pokemon blaring and both littles dressed I start their lunch, and decide to pack mine also - what fun!
8:30 - Get to work, late. Somehow I have the amazing ability to waste time like a champ! Clock in and first thing I do is fill two water bottles. I am ready! Second thing I do is start the "running commentary" as this will be the tool I turn to when I feel week!
9:01 - Now, see, this is boredom hungry - I think. No, might be real. I had a yogurt this morning because I opened it by squeezing it in the fridge door and I could not think of a way to bring it to work without making a hella mess. Maybe I am hungry because usually I would have my yogurt now. Might just be routine kicking in. Either way, I guess I will drink my first bottle of water and take my vitamins and then I can eat breakfast at first break!
10:06 - I am warming my breakfast! Yum!
10:20 - OMG! You guys this breakfast is the bomb! I am using more points than I would normally, but I want to be full and plan very few snacks! I am eating a burger from last night, with the mushrooms, on an English muffin, so yum!
11:51 - I have my lunch set up and on a plate in front of me (well, to the side really.) I added 24 pretzels which calculate to 2 points BUT are like only 5 calories from 3 points so I am charging 3 points for them. As part of my B2P boot camp I am to finish my water and then wait ten minutes before I can eat lunch. :D Almost done with the water!
11:53 - Done! Waiting... waiting... (Okay, you get the picture!) When I do eat my goal is to make it last 20 minutes or more!
12:03 - Starting lunch if I could get off the effin' phone. See, this is why eating at your desk kinda sucks!
12:38 - Just finished lunch, mainly because the world sucks and I had to take a break a freak out! Still, making lunch last goal completed!
1:16 - Emotional eating is nagging at me. I am upset and I want to feast.
1:45 - I did it, I ate my FiberPlus bar! BOO!
2:45 - With the issue cleared up I realized that my bar was gone and so for evening break I am eating a Light n' Fit yogurt that I froze the other day!
3:51 - Feeling good and strong! Happy and ready to go home and face the Toostie rolls!

Today is a 7.

:( Sad because the kids are off to school and the love has to work in another state today which means she is FAR away. Hope it is only one day. On the positive side: lunch will be easy to control ‘cause it is just me!

Sunday, November 14

November Challenge: Week 3, # 2

30 minutes; 237 calories burned; 7 miles biked! Whoa!

Today is a 9.

The pain has not spread, it is holding steady at “there but not too bad” and that is wonderful! Eating very clean and working out (well, I will be working out.) Right now I am heading to WallyWorld! Yay!

Saturday, November 13

November Challenge: Week 3, # 1

30 minutes; 273.7 calories burned; 7.472 miles biked.
I think I am going to have to pick between killer ripped workouts like that one or longer/multiple workouts. Either way. Right now I feel amazing – like I am high. (Kinda like the one time in eight grade when I huffed, only without the fear of getting caught, dying or my mom finding out!) (Gosh, I am so glad I grew up!)

Today is a 9.

Lost weight, feeling happy. Pain, eh. MoMo is sick, we are rolling to the doctor in a bit. Then I thought everyone would benefit from a little sunshine so we are heading to the lake with Subway snacks and waters! Yay! When we get home I have plans to workout as long as I can (I hope to get an hour down today.)

Weekly Meeting (Wk 26)

I heard some things are changing with the way WW defines their points. We will get more points, but things will cost more points. Hmmm. Well, I will give it a go – only this is working for me and I am hesitant to change anything! Total loss: 55.1! SHUT UP!!!!

Friday, November 12

November Challenge: Week 2, # 3

30 minutes; 208.1 calories burned; 6.338 miles biked.

Today is an 8.

Sadly I woke up with pain, I know – that sucks. It’s in my back, neck and shoulders and I can feel it seeping into my hands. Oh, well. I decided that made it extra important to work out, because I KNOW I will not want to do it later. I feel more tired than I should, so I think I might be in a down cycle. What can I do? It will not stop me. I am losing weight, I am happy and I am here to rock! :) Week end plans? Weigh in and sleep a bit! Yay! (Also have a dozen or so things to do with MoMo (Lou) and Putt!

Thursday, November 11

I love Smart Balance!

Seriously guys I have been using their light spread and then I found this popcorn. Now popcorn is a hot topic in the WW world because it is hard measure, and because it can be both a healthy snack and a REALLY bad one. While the box is a bit misleading this popcorn is (at worse) 6 points for the whole bag. So today this is my snack and I am loving it!

I win!!!!

Seriously this has been sitting on my desk, open and half eaten, for like FOREVER (18 minutes) and I feel great. Yay God given will power!

Yesterday was a 5, today an 8.

Well, thank you God! It is turning around and I am happy about it! Yesterday my boss was in an awful mood and it slowly decayed any good will I had. I got home and I worked out and you know what? I felt better. (I know that I knew that, I just could not get it done.) Today, however, I woke up at 5:34 and I started my workout and I feel SOOOO much better! Yay! Thanks, everybody, for sticking with me. Thanks Nari, for always having a kind word that really lifts my spirits when I need it! :)
Also, if you didn’t see the video – my mom is in the clear. Another great big shout out to the Lord above! Thanks!!!

November Challenge: Week 2; # 2

30:10 minutes; 225.9 calories burned; 6.406 miles biked. 5:45 in the morning! THANK YOU, GOD!!!

Wednesday, November 10

November Challenge: Week 2, # 1

This has been shameful! Down right shameful! I got my head out of the clouds today. I shook it off, and I got a flippin’ grip. I am not expecting immediacy – though that would be nice – and I know that only I can constantly evolve for myself and constantly adjust myself and my routine. It is natural to want to stick to what works, but in life things change and you either change with them or get left behind. So today I choose to change!
I present to you the first non-suckage workout in way too long – 30 minutes; 230 calories burned; 6.586 miles biked!!!! I’m back!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 9

OMG you guys.

I am sooo trying to get back at it and I feel like I doing a pretty good job today. I have drank four of these water bottles full of water. I also took my vitamins, yay. Now, just to start kicking ass at the work outs. :)

Today is a 6.

I am worried about my mom. I am sad and I am lost. I am stuck in prayer – the kind that comes from constant fear. :(

Monday, November 8

Today is a 6.

Oooh, not good. Creeping lower. Somehow I have been forgetting my vitamins. I need to work on that! Also, I keep putting off working out. This is no good and it will not take me down!

Sunday, November 7

Yesterday was a 7, today a 7.

Yesterday was a 7 – good, not great; today is the same. I am so tired and so empty. I feel like going to bed and staying there FOREVER. Hmmmm. MUST workout today, I gave myself yesterday off.

Saturday, November 6

Weekly Meeting (Wk 25)

Well, it's a loss. Sorry to post so late.

Friday, November 5

Christmas party?

I really want my phone by the time this year’s Christmas party rolls around. One of the things I like the most is that several of the reviews I have read mentions that the user would be comfortable leaving their point and shoot camera as well as their flip recorder home unless they KNEW they needed something special. (Well, I would love to cart all that around!)

Today is a 7.

I am soooo tired. I cannot wait to get home and get to bed. I weigh in tomorrow and pray to God it is a good one. Not a bad day, not a great on either.

November Challenge: Week 1, # 3

30 minutes; 140 calories burned; 5.938 miles biked.
On a Friday? Yep, on a Friday. At least I got it done, y’all!

Thursday, November 4

Today is a 7.

I am in a grump foul mood. I feel like I am gaining. I have made less than stellar choices and I am worried. (I stayed in my points, BUT did so wretchedly!)

This ia ALL about control!

I just can’t do it. I feel like it’s a will power thing. I want something sweet and before I can enjoy it I have consumed it. I want to fix this so that I can have a piece of candy without it becoming a problem.

November Challenge: Week 1, # 2

30 minutes; 159.3 calories burned; 4.946 miles biked – 5:30 in the father f*cking morning!
I screwed the pooch on this week. I let everything ride till the last day I comfortably like working out. So to get this done I had to work out this morning and this afternoon. Morning – done. Afternoon? I hope so!

Wednesday, November 3

New reward list!

So this was my old rewards list:
50 pounds – my love bag!
55 pounds – my choice of the Monster High dolls – I love Frankie!
60 pounds – blue PaperJamz guitar
65 pounds – PaperJamz amp
70 pounds – PaperJamz drums
75 pounds – another Monster High doll
Along with that I also got a new Kindle Christopher Moore book every week that I worked out. Only I decided I really want a reborn doll by a pricey artist and now I am putting all this $$$ towards that.
I already got my LOVE bag – LOVE it! But, for the next it goes like this:
55 pounds – $20 in doll fund
60 pounds – $25 in doll fund
65 pounds – $15 in doll fund
70 pounds – $20 in doll fund
75 pounds – $25 in doll fund
Instead of having a new Kindle book every week I work out I am putting 10 dollars to my doll! Yay!

Today is an 8.

I miss the wee ones. I know they were bored, but it was nice having them here with me. I can’t wait to be home with them all summer and then Putt will be home schooled and Lou will join us next year! Yay!

Tuesday, November 2

Today is a 10.

It would be a 9, but the joy of having the babies here at work with me over shadows the fact that this is the last day. :( Must work out today, I keep forgetting to get up in the morning! Yikes!

Monday, November 1

Today is a 10.

While, honestly, it is a bit stressful having the kids at work with me – it is also amazing! I feel so relaxed. :) Yay! Oh, and no dancing this week, what a relief from the norm. Maybe I will get my kitchen cleaned, and dinner cooked, and kids bathed all in one full night!

Sunday, October 31

November Challenge: Week 1, # 1

Trick or treat!
An hour of trick or treating, which under normal (ie-before Katrina) circumstances would mean that we step step stop, step step stop. In a post hurricane world that means step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step stop, and repeat! I am surprised that the littles did so well. Yay!

Today was a 10.

I forgot to do this! Eeek! Well, good day. We had a little family party. We did not trick, but we did treat. The kids come to work with me tomorrow, SO HAPPY!!! Contest!

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