Little FAT Me

I work full time and I barely have time to breathe. In 2005 hurricane Katrina rearranged my life, since then I have gained roughly 80-90 pounds. I believe that it started in depression and became an addiction. I have started and failed many diets and then decided that MAYBE if I combine diet and exercise with blogging and shopping I might be able to find success. This is the story of 2010 and my struggle to rise above addiction, pain, depression and fat.
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30. Mother. Wife. Artist. Psychic (sensitive.) Writer. Singer. Rain dancer. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Child of God.

The road to MY PERSONAL goal BMI/weight!

Thursday, April 19

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51. Make up a definition for the following silly words…

Fruitgoogle: Search engine of fruit (that would eventually expand to veggies and all plant life, allow people to link what they like to plant or eat and share with their friends, become a smashing great website and then be bought be Facebook to die. Of course.)

Ambytime: That time where your Ambien kicks in, but you are not asleep yet. It’s the craziest trip of your life for 5 seconds…

Asscactus: The very specific condition that comes from sitting on a porcupine.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? I drew a picture for my SMASH book – which I need to add a goal for! Thanks for asking!

53. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a set of wild horses, they were made of resin and extremely detailed. I played with those for hours and hours on end.

54. How many TV’s are in your house? 4. A teeny in my kitchen, he’s kind of mine. The only time I get to really watch TV is when I cook – if I’m not making a video. One in each kids room, and a HUGE one in the living room. It’s really ridiculous how big that TV is.

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Run (if alone.) Crab (if with family.)

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? Closer to God.

57. Have you ever dreamed a dream that came true? Not directly. I have dreams where they mean other things. Like, I had a dream the world was ending – all fire and floods – and that I was trying to warn my GF at the time. I was begging her to see that she needed to come with me fast, I drug her up a hill and showed her the burning trees, the snow falling and the waves of a flood covering the earth and she smiled and said, “Relax, it’s only autumn.” Which I was like, WTF it’s not autumn!” She kept telling me that until I woke up sad and scared. I told her about the dream the next day, when I looked at her her face was pale and she was like, “Look, I feel like I need to tell you something. I’ve been seeing a girl names Autumn.” So there you go, not fire and flooding – instead a cheating, lying GF. Not the same as the dream, close enough.

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? Yes. Honestly I hate most of them and prefer to do the reading.

59. What is your idea of paradise? Life without fear, pain and loss.

60. Do you believe in God and if so what is he/she/it like? Yes, I’m still figuring it out. Loving. Protecting.

61. Do you believe in Hell? Yes, but sometimes I think we make our own hell.

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven’t? Lived two years of their life on YouTube. (Lost 119 pounds.)

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? I mean, I do courteous, kind and helpful things all the time. I can’t figure which was most and which was less, because I don’t know how it affected the people I was kind to. I would say that lately being supportive to others on YT, listening and counseling them with their food addiction would be my kindest moments.

64. Are you a patient person? It really depends on the situation.

65. What holiday should exist but doesn’t? Annie Lennox Day, because really – why not?

66. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does? I wouldn’t take anyone’s away, personally I don’t get most of them.

67. What’s the best joke you ever heard? – I need to think on this one.

68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? Burlington, VT – but I haven’t been MANY places.

69. Is your hair natural or dyed? Dyed! Always an unnatural color!

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? Up front.

71. What is under your bed right now? A box of camera parts and a picture printer. Yesterday the answer was nothing, but I got tired of having to climb to reach them and moved them under the bed!

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home? I would like to say live there, but I need a bit of darkness – you know, tortured artist/poet and all.

73. If you drive do you frequently speed? Uh, I used to – but as I get older I get more aware of how much I want to live, and how many stupid choices can take that from me.

74. What is the world’s best song to dance to? At the moment (but ever changing) Turn Me On (feat. Niki Minaj) David Guetta

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? Right Down The Line – Gerry Rafferty

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? Warner Brothers, I think.

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? Lions.

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? Sadly, yes.

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? Yep – pure chaotic bliss for a nanosecond before we all died. Boo.

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? Run.

81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? I think the right to free speech is HORRIBLY abused and we should look into some bars on hate speech, not that you can’t dislike or hate, but inciting violence and destroying people isn’t okay.

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? I would have said North Pole my whole life until two years ago – now it is the equator. Hands down.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? TV – music wakes something up that TV can’t.

84. What do you think makes someone a hero? Courage in the face of danger.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? The Last Unicorn

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach: Blood.

87. What was the last thing you paid for? New dance shoes for my oldest daughter.

88. Are you a coupon clipper? If I actually need or use the item I will use a coupon, I don’t redesign my shopping list to suit what’s got coupons.

89. Get anything good in the mail recently? OMG the most beautiful shoes!

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class…dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? Dancing – hip hop or trip hop!

91. In Star Trek people ‘beam’ back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person’s memories. So…

Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends? I am going with yes. Because using the understanding we have today to explain something we can’t figure out how to do – well, it makes no sense.

92. What insects are you afraid of? Spiders.

93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say? Go hard.

94. What’s the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? I dress pretty out there, but when I was in high school I would constantly have colored (blue most often, red and pick) eyebrows.

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? Oh fuck me, I would go with pizza, because I can do so many different things with pizza that it unlocks the flipping world!

96. What are your parents interested in? Mom: gardening, Dad: tinkering.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? No.

Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? No.

98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans? I love wishes, but I guess that plans do more of the work around here!

99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? I have a tie for the times I feel MOST alive: running is one, the other is when I am writing frantic poetry.

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? Gun, phone and matches?

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