Little FAT Me

I work full time and I barely have time to breathe. In 2005 hurricane Katrina rearranged my life, since then I have gained roughly 80-90 pounds. I believe that it started in depression and became an addiction. I have started and failed many diets and then decided that MAYBE if I combine diet and exercise with blogging and shopping I might be able to find success. This is the story of 2010 and my struggle to rise above addiction, pain, depression and fat.
My photo
30. Mother. Wife. Artist. Psychic (sensitive.) Writer. Singer. Rain dancer. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Child of God.

The road to MY PERSONAL goal BMI/weight!

Friday, January 27

I want you to die.

I don’t want to have a dead grandmother, you are not only the best grandma I had but also the last grandparent. I don’t want to tell my tiny heart that you died. I don’t want her to hurt, I don’t want to hurt. I don’t want to feel scared and I don’t want to be lost. I don’t want my mother or her sisters or brother to hurt.
I do want you to die. I’m sorry.
I want you to drop dead from some crazy heart attack, when no one is looking. I want you to get hit by a car when we are all tucked in. I don’t want you to die slow, slow, slow, s l o w . While we all stand around unable to help. I don’t want things to hurt worse everyday. I don’t want it to take so long that you lose who you are even more than you have. I don’t want to dread phone calls and then feel numb because it’s never the end, it’s always just the beginning of the end.
I love you, and I want you to die. What kind of a person am I?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Sorry, I started moderating comments due to spammers - please don't let this discourage you! I love to get and respond to comments! Contest!