Little FAT Me

I work full time and I barely have time to breathe. In 2005 hurricane Katrina rearranged my life, since then I have gained roughly 80-90 pounds. I believe that it started in depression and became an addiction. I have started and failed many diets and then decided that MAYBE if I combine diet and exercise with blogging and shopping I might be able to find success. This is the story of 2010 and my struggle to rise above addiction, pain, depression and fat.
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30. Mother. Wife. Artist. Psychic (sensitive.) Writer. Singer. Rain dancer. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Child of God.

The road to MY PERSONAL goal BMI/weight!

Sunday, August 15

Glitch # 1,296

It’s funny when you realize you have a glitch and you have no idea where it came from or when it developed. You just know that it runs deep and strong. One day a compulsion is there making you act or do.
Out to dinner the other day I asked my girl friend to ask what was in something. After hearing I changed my order. She was like, “Just ask them to leave the butter out.” I couldn’t, I just went with another dish. I felt – strange. Lately, because of this journey, I pay more attention to those feelings. I think them out later. Turn them over again and again when I have the time.
Upon turning this one over a hundred times I realized that it’s because I have a deep embarrassment when it comes to food. Like if I ask if something is healthy the person I ask will think, “As if you care, fatty.” Or if I order something like a salad I will get a look that says, “You are not fooling anyone.”
It’s another thing that doesn’t make sense. I know know when I got that way. What I do know is that I have found the glitch, so mow I can fix it. Slowly I will be whole and feel good without thinking about it CONSTANTLY!

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