Little FAT Me

I work full time and I barely have time to breathe. In 2005 hurricane Katrina rearranged my life, since then I have gained roughly 80-90 pounds. I believe that it started in depression and became an addiction. I have started and failed many diets and then decided that MAYBE if I combine diet and exercise with blogging and shopping I might be able to find success. This is the story of 2010 and my struggle to rise above addiction, pain, depression and fat.
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30. Mother. Wife. Artist. Psychic (sensitive.) Writer. Singer. Rain dancer. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Child of God.

The road to MY PERSONAL goal BMI/weight!

Sunday, August 1

A pointless day?

I have not allowed myself a truly pointless day at all since I started WW eleven weeks ago. I did not intend to now, but life worked it out a little different. Yesterday I had a birthday to take little Lou to from one – four and we had an appointment with a “cat lady” in another state at six. My day started at 6:45 AM when I got up and got dressed for my meeting, had to wear different pants. I was not happy. Down 1.2 isn’t bad so I rolled with it, knowing its better for the journey to take a while and last forever. I got home, still having to design an Alice in Wonderland themed costume for little Lou, I went right to cooking breakfast for everyone. Um, everyone BUT me. We ran out of eggs and I wasn’t in the mood, or with the time, to figure something out. After fashioning what I deemed a very nice costume we were off.
The party was a fancy affair and there were lots of foods that I would not touch. I opted for a few cheese squares, four sandwich triangles and LOTS of fruit. I have no idea how much fruit, but I know I passed up the pizza, cake, crackers, ice cream, cup cakes… I drank lots of water, I got through it.
We left the party and we started our two and a half hour trek to the new kitten, Molly. I had a headache to kill and when we stopped for gas I picked up a V8 and it really mad me feel good. Nice perk up, in fact – for me – I think it is better than an energy drink. It would have been two points at the most, but I didn’t count or care at that point! After hanging out and picking our kitten, a beautiful seal point Siamese girl, we hit the road. It’s 8:38 PM at this point and we are starved!
We pull into the first McDonald’s drive through. This upset me a bit, that I couldn’t go to Subway. With a kitten left in the car I just couldn’t do anything other than drive through. :( It was the first time I ate at McDonald’s in eleven weeks and I didn’t have my dining out book. I ordered a honey mustard grilled chicken Snack Wrap and hoped for the best – 6 points BTW. I also ordered a small, nonfat milk, vanilla latte – again, I would have loved to have a V8 but I couldn’t leave Lou or the new baby in the car alone.
I thought and thought and at first I was like, “There is no way I used all my day point AND all my extra points. I will just cancel out all my extra and be strict for the week.” Only, I feel like that would be setting myself up to fail. In reality I am proud of how I handled things, avoiding the bad, eating small amounts of the “could be dangerous” foods, loading up on fresh fruit, making good choices at McD’s. I am going to be careful this week, to work out and to be mindful. I am not going to punish like I once would have. I also am not going to skip counting points, at least not for another eleven weeks or so. I don’t like how lost I felt last night as I drove home.

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