Tempeh ~ WTF?

For some finding healthy meat substitutes is a must due to choice they have made. Fine.

For others meat substitutes are for health reasons or just curiosity. Great.
For me, is the meat substitute is Tempeh, meat substitutes suck ASS! As in a great big EWWWW!
"We get that you don't like Tempeh, Little FAT. But, what is it?" You ask. I refer you to the one, only, most amazing ~ Wikipedia:

Tempeh begins with whole soybeans, which are softened by soaking and dehulled, then partly cooked. Specialty tempehs may be made from other types of beans, wheat, or may include a mixture of beans and whole grains. A mild acidulent, usually vinegar, may be added in order to lower the pH and create a selective environment that favors the growth of the tempeh mold over competitors. A fermentation starter containing the spores of fungus Rhizopus oligosporus is mixed in. The beans are spread into a thin layer and are allowed to ferment for 24 to 36 hours at a temperature around 30°C (86°F). In good tempeh, the beans are knitted together by a mat of white mycelia. Under conditions of lower temperature, or higher ventilation, gray or black patches of spores. This sporulation is normal on fully mature tempeh. A mild ammonia may form on the surface—this is not harmful, and should not affect the flavor or quality of the tempeh smell may accompany good tempeh as it ferments, but it should not be overpowering. In Indonesia, ripe tempeh (two or more days old) is considered a delicacy.

Let's review. It's partially cooked, molded soybean crap! Please, do not get me wrong I am willing to admit it may have been how mine was cooked but still. STILL. I, eww. I don't even think I could eat it as in that last picture - fried. And I am a fat foodie who will bite your arm off for just about anything fried! If you have tried it let me know what you thought and if you know of it let me know the best way to cook it. My GoB likes it and if I can get good recommendations she would be thrilled!